1. Are you happy with your current line of work? What do you like/don't like about it?

Ha. Hahaha. I mean, that is a hell of a question. My line of work is the main subject of my locked entries, which are basically a long paean of the many and varied feelings I have about it. The architecture of academia is hugely problematic. I have never been so taxed, drained, and overwhelmed by any other job. At the same time, I have never been so utterly absorbed and satisfied by my work in my life.

2. Do you see yourself doing the same type of work in 5 years? What about 10?

I’m going to be infuriatingly non-committal here and say that only time will tell.

3. Did you see yourself doing this type of work 5 years ago? What about 10?

Absolutely and unequivocally not. I had no intention of becoming an academic, nor any sense that this was a realistic prospect.

4. Did you have a dream job as a child? What was it?

I can remember wanting to be a lot of things. A veterinarian. A medical doctor. (Both of these ended abruptly when I eventually worked out how squidgy medicine is.) An Olympic dressage competitor. (Our neighbours had horses. I have only ever ridden a horse a handful of times. But I liked the dream.) A writer. A Nobel-prize-winning chemist. An inventor. An astronaut. I’m not sure how pleased six-year-old me would be if they could see me now.

5. If you had to pick a radically different job from what you have now, regardless of whether you'd realistically be able to do it given your skillset, what would you pick and why?

Wealthy philanthropist, photographer, and dilettante artist living in an airy flat with my family and cats in a vibrant city. That would be quite nice.

It’s such a pleasure* to have regular reminders that when you become a lecturer, people don’t automatically stop being horribly sexist at you. 


Yesterday, I was in my department’s Education Support Office [ESO], chatting to one of the ESO officers while he located the exam paperwork I needed so I could go off and spend the morning marking them.


As we chatted, someone walked in. I didn’t notice them and I don’t think the ESO officer did either. We were at the back of the office, well behind the reception desk. 


We noticed them when this person started shouting at us in the middle of our conversation, as I was signing out the exam scripts. Well, they shouted at me. “Excuse me, Miss, can you come over here,” they snapped. I turned and stared at them, appalled, and didn’t say anything. The ESO officer put on his most professional poker face and said firmly, “I’ll be with you in a moment.”


Was this person put off by that? Spoiler alert: They were not. “I am a new research associate in [professor’s name]’s group. I am looking for [professional services person]. I need to meet them now.” They stared at me. I still didn’t say anything.


The ESO officer replied, “Just wait there. I’ll be with you when we’re finished.”


We turned our backs on the person, who turned very reluctantly away and went out of the office to wait outside. When I left, I sailed past them with my arms full of exam scripts and did not look at them as I went downstairs to my office.


To the person: Do not assume that everyone standing in a professional services office is there to serve you on command. Especially not the women. 


To colleagues who do not check whether the people they are hiring are sexist pricks: I don’t care how great they may be as researchers. Please stop hiring sexist pricks.


To the ESO officer: You are a gem. Thank you for your support.


* please note heavy sarcasm


20220325_110732
I had my Year 1 tutees make cyanotypes in their most recent group tutorial. I asked them to make images of their favourite things they'd learned about in the first year so far. They took the prints home with them, but I kept the transparencies so I can make copies.

This morning, I did an undergraduate viva, in physics, with another lecturer (Professor level), and a fourth-year masters student.

Both assessors are women. Student is a woman. I think this may well be the very first professional assessment experience I have had in my entire working career where everyone involved was a woman AND it *wasn't* some sort of "Women in STEM" event.

And then this afternoon,[livejournal.com profile] cha_mel_eon made her first official Artist-in-Residence visit to my department, and I got to show her cool pieces of kit and bits of metal, and we talked about space and art and it was absolutely lovely.

It were a good day. :)

I'm not usually a fan of the articles contributed by members of the academic community to the esteemed publication Nature, but this one really pissed me off.

"Design your own doctoral project" by Jesko Becker.

I warn you, take a deep breath and brace yourself for an onslaught of unabashed, tone-deaf horseshit if you decide to click that link. Reading it made me want to scream. A lot. Because so very few people in the world are in a position to spend months or years, as this author clearly did, doing a vast amount of unpaid labour in order to cook up a doctoral project and then chasing funding for it. You have to already be nicely sorted out for that. This aspirational bullshit is exactly the kind of thing that puts off less privileged members of the academic community (which, M. Becker, is 99.999999% of them) from pursuing doctoral work in the first place, or makes them feel like failures when they can't complete it. Doctoral work is already very badly paid, and even if you are lucky enough to land a funded position, the funding is almost always insufficient to cover the actual duration of projects. Nearly everyone with a PhD that I have ever met in the UK worked at least a couple of months on their doctoral theses without pay. It is an absolutely shite system and it is not to be encouraged. So don't go telling people, "You don't need funding, just follow your dreaaaaams!" People have to pay rent. They have to eat. Some of them have families to care for. They need money to do those things.

It doesn't just take "autonomy, determination and perseverance" to make an unfunded doctoral project happen. It takes MONEY, and not just money for the project. YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM, M. Becker. You are not the solution. Bugger Off.
I forgot a milestone two days ago. Normally I remember it every year. September is full of significant dates. The fourth: Brother-out-law's birthday. The seventh: My maternal grandfather's death in 2001. The eleventh: Four days later, the twin towers came down. The twenty-second: My birthday. The twenty-ninth: My maternal grandfather's birthday.

Twelve years ago, on 3 September 2002, I handed in my (completed, revised) PhD dissertation, "Energetics and Dissociation Dynamics of Reactive Organic Intermediates" (a thrilling read, I assure you), marking the end of my doctoral studies. My journal helpfully reminds me that, as I walked out of the Office of Graduate Studies into the bright California sunshine clutching my certificate of completion, the water polo team ran past me.

Twelve years.

I've been Dr [personal profile] nanila for twelve years.

HOW

WHAT

SRSLY

(And you know, there is still a tiny part of me that thinks someone will suddenly notice that I'm not studying chemical dynamics any more and will say, "Hey! You! You there, no longer in a lab coat and goggles! HDU trick us, you should still be doing THAT sort of research. Return that title to us immediately.")
nanila: (old-skool: science!)
( Dec. 23rd, 2013 09:20 pm)
[livejournal.com profile] jixel asked: How about commenting on the challenges of being a (pretty) woman scientist?

I wouldn’t say it’s actually a challenge to be a pretty woman scientist. It seems to be more of a challenge for other people to get their heads round.

Facetiousness aside, being considered pretty (by a certain set of people applying a certain set of standards, ymmv) has had complicated consequences with regard to my self-esteem and my behaviour. This is relevant because of the significant component of social interaction that comprises the practice of science - a thing that a lot of scientists won’t admit to, because they are far too logical and rational and therefore superior to apply the culturally reinforced biases that permeate society to their professional lives. [insert eyeroll here]

In many circumstances, I have found it as helpful to be pretty as it probably is for any attractive person in any line of work. A lot of people treat you in a particular way when you fit certain standard definitions of beauty. I’m relatively slim (less so than before I had the baby), wear my hair long, wear makeup, spend a certain amount of money on my attire, dress with care, have symmetrical features and smile a good deal (even when I don’t feel like it - hi, social conditioning!). This, I believe, tends to lead others to place me squarely in the “comfortably non-threatening feminine person” zone...

unless I start talking about science, or photography, or any technical subject about which I have a certain amount of knowledge. I’ve noticed that my tone of voice changes, as well as my demeanour. I’m more assertive, more likely to argue a point and I’ve honed a style of retort that does not come at all naturally to me in other circumstances. I’m a lot more thick-skinned in professional life than I am in my personal one. I’ve found it necessary not only to project an “I don’t care what you think” attitude, but to actually believe it. That’s has been hard graft. It is one of the reasons I opted out of tenure-track academic work. I can’t distance myself emotionally from my work. I would find it crushing if my evaluation were strongly dependent on the reviews of my peers and not just my ability to deliver good documents and data to strict deadlines. So I’ve chosen/fallen into a line of work in which other people’s opinions of my output (other than my immediate bosses) have little to no impact on its worth. It lets me get away with staying in the “comfortably non-threatening feminine person” zone as well as minimising the angst of agonising over dismissive put-downs.

Perhaps, then, my initial statement wasn’t correct. It is challenging to be a (pretty) woman scientist. If you’re going to excel, it requires the acquisition and development of the ability to project complete confidence in your aptitude, as well as actually possessing said aptitude in spades (see: my female boss). It requires the ability to overcome the perceived weakness attached to “comfortably non-threatening feminine person”. It requires the investment of time and energy attached to maintaining one’s “prettiness”, including healthy eating, exercise and a socially acceptable appearance. And, of course, it requires the depth of study and breadth of technical knowledge required to maintain one's status as a research scientist.
nanila: fulla starz (lolcat: science)
( Jan. 21st, 2013 03:09 pm)
On being a spacecraft engineer, using only the ten hundred most used English words:

I went to school for a long, long time. I tried a job doing exactly what I had studied but I didn't like it enough to keep doing it. So I moved far away and tried again.

Now I have job I enjoy. I work with a group of people who build things. Our things get sent into space. They tell us how much of something that we can't see, smell, touch or hear is present in space. It takes a long time to build a thing that can go into space and stay on for years. We have to make sure our things don't break easily and don't use too much power. I use a computer to make sure that the stuff our things tell us is right. This is so that we can learn about our world and other worlds. We want to know things like: how shifting lights in the sky form, how the hot stuff in the middle of worlds helps keep them safe from the stars and how to find worlds that could have life on them.

Right now I'm taking a break from my job because I had a baby. I take a lot of pictures of my baby, my boyfriend, my cat and my house. I also like to tell true stories to my friends and to paint. I live in a place that lets me spend time raising my baby without losing my job. This place also gave me free care during the time just before I had my baby. I'm happy because when I do my job, I help to pay for this care for myself and for other people who can't pay for it. This is very good and I wish it were true in more places, like the place where I used to live.


(Created using the Up-goer Five text editor http://splasho.com/upgoer5/, which challenges you to use only the ten hundred most common words to explain an idea.

Words I was unable to use: instrument, measure, device, engineer, planet, system, country, partner. Worst of all, the word “science” was forbidden. Argh!)


Unpaid work and universal childcare by [personal profile] rmc28
Singlet oxygen by [personal profile] holdthesky
Political canvassing by [personal profile] miss_s_b
Working for a Fair Trade organisation by [personal profile] ironed_orchid
Working as a clinical psychologist by [personal profile] vi
Working in retail by [personal profile] pbristow
Working in the hotel industry written begrudgingly by [personal profile] gominokouhai
Virtualization and "the cloud" by [personal profile] azurelunatic
Researching politics, gender and human rights by [personal profile] ajnabieh
On being a physics teacher by [personal profile] crystalpyramid
Space science & outreach by [profile] rinkle
Teaching people about dinosaurs by [personal profile] innerbrat

ETA: They accepted my submission to the Ten Hundred Words of Science tumblr: here.
So I sent off this e-mail a week ago, to the Communications and PR office at NPL.

Today, I finally got a response.

Thank you for your email.
We take diversity very seriously and have taken not [sic] of your comments.

Kind regards,
[Redacted]


Is that it?! Really?

I think I feel slightly insulted that it is a two-sentence e-mail and it still contains a misspelling.

If anyone needs me, I'll be in my corner, sulking.
It's 2011. I'm seriously annoyed that I even felt compelled to write this letter. When I was a child, I'm pretty sure I was promised a world free from gender and race inequality by the time I was an adult. Why is it not here? Dammit, why am I still trapped in a world run by a bunch of white dudes who can't see what the problem is because they have everything they want?

No wonder escapist media is so popular.

To whom it may concern:

Recently, my partner brought home The Little Big Book of Metrology, an accessible and appealing piece of outreach material produced by the National Physical Laboratory about the history and development of measuring units, from a conference. I was delighted, until I had finished reading it and realised that something was bothering me.

I went through it again and carefully counted up the number of scientist and engineers portrayed in The Little Big Book. Of the 15 photos containing humans in the book, three contained identifiably female humans. Of those three, one showed a woman in the background at a tea party, one was of the women’s hockey team and only the last showed a female scientist or engineer at work - helping a male colleague.

I then counted up the cartoon portrayals of humans in The Little Big Book. Here, I think, there is no rationale for not portraying a balance between the sexes. Here again, however, I found that of the 18 cartoons showing humans, 17 contained male humans and three contained female humans. Of those three, one was actually measuring something (the length of a queue of male humans), one was of a mixed group looking at a candle and one was of a woman shopping.*

It also concerned me that the photographs did not seem to contain any persons of colour. Amongst the cartoons, there was only one portrayal, in the group looking at the candle.

I do not feel that this is a balance of images that will engender inspiration among women to work in the field of metrology, or indeed in science and engineering generally. I realise that historical photographic material cannot be edited to contain women or persons of colour when it does not. However, I can’t help feeling that more of an effort could have been made to portray an equal gender balance and more diversity in modern science and engineering. If the ratio is indeed still so skewed at NPL, it risks projecting an image that is unlikely to appeal to any persons who are not both male and white.

I hope that future published materials from NPL will endeavour to portray a more diverse working culture, for the sake of female scientists and engineers everywhere.

Sincerely,

Dr [personal profile] nanila (a female person of colour and a scientist working as an engineer)
[real name and work address will be supplied, of course.]


* I was seriously pissed off when I saw this, but I’m not sure how to express this without being dismissed as strident...?

I plan to send this to the NPL Communications and PR office. Does anyone have other suggestions? I have a complete list of the page numbers for the statistics on photographs & cartoons - should I append that?
.