nanila | The Them

Happy Christmas if you're celebrating!

The first orchid pictured here, the Calypso, gave me one of the best "miracles" of the year. Despite having lived in their native range my entire life, I'd never seen them - they won't grow on disturbed soil, that is, anywhere that's been logged - and where they *do* grow, people pick them (don't get me started). But in one wonderful trip with the fam to Pemberton, BC, they were growing plentifully in an accessible location. It's like meeting a phoenix or a dragon, to me.

a tiny orchid photographed up close - five petals and sepals rise from the top of the flower, all red violet with deeper stripes of the same colour; the labellum tc below are white with maroom spots; the BG is blury leaves
Calypso bulbosa
©Bill Pusztai 2025

as above but with the leaves of some other plant in the composition
Calypso bulbosa 9348
©Bill Pusztai 2025

A very exotic looking paph with an upright and a down-pointing petal.sepal, gold striped with deep red; the lateral sepals/petals dotted instead of stiped, hirsute; the labellum a more subdued version o fthe same colours
Paphiopedilum 'Saint Swithin' (P. philippinense x P. rothschildianum) 6434
©Bill Pusztai 2025

as the above, but the verticals are white striped green, the laterals green spotted red, and the labellum veined red
Paphiopedilum sukhakulii 4832
©Bill Pusztai 2025

a profile of the bloom, with icy green sepals and petals with a splash of red-violet at the throat, labellum and column deep violet and yellow, some roots in the BG
Phalaenopsis bellina fma coerulea 0634
©Bill Pusztai 2025

as above
Phalaenopsis bellina fma coerulea 0858.
©Bill Pusztai 2025

This Phrag is the first of the genus I've ever managed to bloom. I killed several of them by overfertilizing - they want weak fertilizer and between fertilizings they must be flushed through with plain water to avoid any sort of salt buildup. Otherwise they start to die back from the leaf tips.

Labellum inflated, very round, pink on the outside, white on the inside, psotted pink; the uproight and lateral petals/sepals white washed with the same pink
Phragmipedium 'Ecuagenera Dream' (P. Sedenii × P. kovachii, Ecuagenera 2017) 0613
©Bill Pusztai 2025

as above
Phragmipedium 'Ecuagenera Dream' (P. Sedenii x P. kovachii, Ecuagenera 2017) 8801
©Bill Pusztai 2025

My alarm went off this morning (only at ten, but I needed it) to make sure I was up in time to walk Teddy before his humans were away for their Christmas lunch.

I thought I was the first person to make it downatairs this morning but while I was just getting to the bottom of the stairs I was already greeted by angelofthenorth already in her usual comfy chair saying "Merry Christmas! Do you want some bucks fizz?" (Which is basically a pre-made mimosa. Luckily I'd been reminded of this recently by being offered it after the ceremony at the wedding we were at a few weeks ago; I'd been able to ask D then to remind me what it is.)

It's a lovely Christmas morning: chilly but not cold, usually pretty sunny, and dry.

It had been a week or so since Teddy and I had seen each other so we were both very excited to do so again.

On our walk, we saw a young probably-dad-type person heading to the recycling bin in front of his house with an armful of cardboard, the boxes already broken down. We grinned a greeting at each other.

A few houses down, a woman in pajamas and a big scarf was just trying to nip out to her car in front of the house, but since Teddy wants to say hello to everyone (human or dog) and assumes every human wants to pet him, so I couldn't drag him past her before she gave in and ruffled his ears and said "Merry Christmas" to me.

As we were leaving the park, I noticed we'd just been joined by two kids with the kind of lightsabers that make the noise when you hit them against each other, and a little scotty dog that I know is called Biscuit because they were getting told off/called over when they were ignoring the humans to say hello to Teddy.

I got home, opening the door to the lovely smells of angelofthenorth already well into the process of cooking our amazing Christmas dinner.

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Posted by Shabana Mir

https://koonjblog.wordpress.com/2025/12/25/sit-with-the-love-and-with-the-pain/

http://koonjblog.wordpress.com/?p=9750

Spending time with an aging parent is punctuated by recurrent stabs of pain. Because you’re made constantly aware of how your mother used to be, and how changed she is. Every time she forgets, or limps, or you catch her gazing at you sadly, you are suddenly shocked by how much has been lost.

It’s not just me: she also has “past me” in her vision. She often doesn’t quite recall that I am now in my late 50s. When I’m with her, she frequently is reminded of how I have chronic conditions, and is upset by these reminders. We missed a lot of time together.

So I stay upbeat to spare her pain. She says I bring raunaq to the home. Liveliness. I am jokester, for sure: I put up a show for people. Now especially, I allow no melancholy to seep into my time with her. I am diligently upbeat. Though I am naturally melancholy, I force myself to be cheerful all day.

When the sun is shining brightly, and I’m reading Qur’an outside by the orange tree, and the birds are singing, it’s easier to be cheerful. When the light dims, it’s harder.

It doesn’t help that I don’t have my routine. My stuff. My cereal and oatmilk. My couch. My TV shows.

I haven’t watched any of my usual shows since I left Chicago. I don’t even eat my usual food. My body is confused: when I try to enjoy a treat like some Skittles or Starburst – my mouth doesn’t enjoy them. I force them down, and it doesn’t work. I eat only home food and boiled water but traveler’s diarrhea continues. My body and mind and heart are between my different lives.

I almost chickened out and thought, maybe I should return early. After all, my family misses me (I think?) Thank God for a friend who reminded me to hold it. To stay the course. To drink in the love even if it comes with pain.

https://koonjblog.wordpress.com/2025/12/25/sit-with-the-love-and-with-the-pain/

http://koonjblog.wordpress.com/?p=9750

I'm sitting here at my table looking out across the trees (I'm on a hill). It's darker than usual today, not light enough yet to see if it's clouds causing the dark but I suspect it is. Thank you, clouds. I love these dark mornings so much. The other night the little chirpy weather girl (still many years away from being a woman) said that this was the longest day of the year and soon we'd have 18 hours of daylight. Shut Up, Bitch. I know she's not wrong but does she have to throw it in my face???

Oh turns out to be clouds and fog. A double gift.

The cats got up before I did and were quite interested in breakfast, ate a bunch of it, and are now back in their closet fast asleep.

I think I'm going to suit up and go for a swim and then come home and enjoy the rest of the day. I have plenty to keep me amused. I have food aplenty. No need for any peopling. A very lovely Christmas.

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/christmas-cheer-2025

OK, team, let's see some holiday spirit!!

*ahem*

[waving pom-poms]
Give me an R!

"R!"

Give me an H!

"H!"

Give me an A!

"A!"

Give me an S!

"S!"

What's that spell?!

"MERRY X-MERRY!"

[hip sashay]
Uh-huh, uh-huh, UH-HUH!

Now gimme a G!

"G!"

Throw it back in!

"N!
"Wait, we mean G!"

Got any extra Ls?

"YUP!"

Now just go nuts!

"Ecky ecky ecky pakang ZOOM boing erumferzerserestibleser... "
[trails off into confused mumbles]

[forward somersault into full leg split]

WAHOOO!!
Go marry, Go marry! Go! Go! Go marry!

[collapses into chair]

Ok, gang, take five.

I think my eyes are bleeding.

**Well, no matter HOW you spell it, have a Merry Christmas, everyone!**

Thanks to Abby, Jennifer S., Susan R., Christopher F., Kerri P., Catherine P., Jessica F., Kae B., Mel A., and George for spelling it out for us.

*****

P.S. I just bought another pair of these sleep headphones, so time for another shout-out!

Bluetooth Sleep Headphones

I have the kind of insomnia old-timey bards would write songs about, so I listen to boring audio books on these every night to keep my brain from spinning out of control. Lately I've been wearing them like a sleep mask - like the model here - and WOW, that's helped even more than when I wore them like a headband! These things have been a life saver: comfy enough for side sleeping, not too loud like some of my old speakers, and they only cost $20. Plus my original pair lasted a good 2 years before one of the wires went loose.

Please note that these do run on the big side, but that works out great if you have a big head like me. :D

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/christmas-cheer-2025

Posted by Daily Otter

https://dailyotter.org/posts/2025/12/25/for-me-whats-in-here-no-seriously-whats-in-here

Via Mark Dumont here, here, and here

https://dailyotter.org/posts/2025/12/25/for-me-whats-in-here-no-seriously-whats-in-here

Happy birthday,

m31andy!

Hung out with my friend Nikki today! We met for the first time at a get-together for polerinas that my instructor put together. And we were comfortable with each other right away. Today, she had the day off for Christmas. We had lunch at a cafe, a hummus platter and a vegan banana walnut cake. She has similar gut issues as I do so we enjoy ordering food together; neither of us feels like we're making the other person miss out on something else they'd rather eat.

Afterwards, we went to the library. I finished reading the book I'd borrowed, and she browsed for a while before picking out a pile of books and then flipping through them to decide what she wanted to borrow. I borrowed Butter by Asako Yuzuki, and it's the specific edition that I'd been eyeing in Shelfish ever since I worked there and wasn't allowed to read the books. (You know, when you're not allowed to do something you want to doubly do it.) Is the fact that the library had it a Sign? Anything's a sign if you want to give it significance. I'm healing, so it's a Sign.

Nikki had wanted to go to Spinebreaker or Shelfish initially. I told her that both places had traumatised me and that it was a long story. She thought I was joking at first, but I didn't want to go into the whole history of both places and why I wasn't welcome at either. I told her that it was awkward telling people that I was traumatised by bookstores because, when I tell them I was traumatised by school for instance, they instinctively understand, but when I say I was traumatised by bookstores, they think I must be joking.

The part I didn't tell her is that when people react like this, it feels like they're laughing at what I experienced or trivialising my hurt, even though they mostly don't know enough to react aptly in the first place. It's just such a difficult thing to talk to people about that I wish it never came up in the first place. The emotional labour of explaining it and making them understand the impact it had on me just sucks, as a process. For a while, I've been thinking that they can't understand me as a person without knowing this about me, but maybe this isn't as big a part of my self as all that. At one point it defined everything about the way I was, but thankfully that time is behind me. As the heroine of the manhwa Not Your Typical Reincarnation Story says, people heal with time and people are more resilient than they think.

the weather today is uplifted

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Stacked up under the tree: enjoy:

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I have this new yarn project in my head that I can't get out of it. It's taking my DK (smaller sized) yarn and chaining it into fat yarn and then knitting or crocheting something with the fat yarn. I don't want to stop making minimonsters yet so I'm hoping that I cannot think of anything I really want made out of fat yarn so that the idea will go away.

My swim this morning was particularly good except the music was not. Turns out I am not only listening to my 6,000 mp3's but all mostly, so far, deleting them. Wtf was I thinking with some of this stuff?? Tomorrow's line up is way better.

I ordered two dinners - beef Wellington, crab cake, baked potato and ginger cookies and turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, a charcuterie selection, and two gingerbread cookies. I put the turkey dinner away for tomorrow. As well as the charcuterie. I ate the beef Wellington which was waaaaay over cooked but did actually have some flavor and the crab cake which had a lovely white sauce on top. I scooped out the baked potato and added a bunch of shit to it and put it back into now 2 twice baked potatoes. I saved the cookies. Oh and I picked up some sushi in the Bistro on the way home.

Tomorrow is a buffet which means seeing people plus the menu isn't all that appealing so I'm just going to eat what I now have which, honestly, is plenty and looks all very delicious.

The cats have been asleep in the closet all damn day. They've each come out once, checked on the food situation and then gone back to sleep there, I'm considering doing a breathing check. Oh, wait, as I type this, here they come out now.

We were supposed to have a ginormous windstorm today but apparently someone canceled it. Just as well, I like my electricity.

For many years now I have wanted my Echo, to chime every 15 minutes like a clock. There have been various work around and tricks to make it happen but none have ever worked well or consistently. i ran a program on my PC for a long time but when I retired the PC, the program went, too. Then, about the time I moved in here, I found an android app that does what I want. It gives me a Big Ben Chime every 15 minutes and bongs out the hour count. I run it off and old phone and it works great but it's never been loud enough to hear throughout the apartment.

This morning I decided to look on Amazon for a small Bluetooth speaker in hopes of getting some volume. I was just starting the search when I realized that my Echo's will all Bluetooth! I have one in the center of the house that has nice volume. I paired it with the phone and it's perfect! What the fuck too me so long to figure this out???? No matter. I'm enjoying the bongs and, with the extra volume I can also have the seconds ticking. It's a lovely sound.

Oh and in other small victories. Apple TV+ let me back in and gave me 3 free months! For some reason last year they locked my account and wouldn't unlock it. I could have called but I just said fuck it instead. I guess they got a little butthurt and changed their minds. They offered 3 free months so I tried again and bingo bango, I'm back in. Til March, then we will divorce again but this time, I'll be the plaintiff.

Time now for some more Shetland.

Me hearties, yo ho.

(no subject)

Hallmark Christmas movie stuff

Sit with the love and with the pain

A lovely Christmas morning

Christmas Cheer

**Well, no matter HOW you spell it, have a Merry Christmas, everyone!**

For Me? What's in Here? No Seriously, What's in Here?

(no subject)

(no subject)

Seasonal tradition: greetings as appropriate

Randoms from today

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