Sauntering Vaguely Downward

...because red wine is the best drink to accompany zombie and vampire films, natch.) Pardon me, this is just me noodling about a film that came out six years ago. Most people probably saw the trailer and went either, “A zombie film; no thanks, I’ll pass” or “ZOMG cutest zombie film EVAR!”

I concur with the latter; Warm Bodies is sweet, funny, has an amazing soundtrack and is an obvious homage to Romeo and Juliet apart from the happily-ever-after ending; the names of the lead characters are “R” and Julie. R saves Julie from the other zombies, and in turn, Julie saves R from being a zombie by literally awakening his heart. His resurrection is infectious: the other zombies who haven’t been completely lost by becoming “bonies” also experience it. There’s even a charmingly awkward balcony scene. It’s a feel-good film, and being a soppy perkygoth romantic, I love watching it.

But there’s a bit of a sting in the tail, because I also can’t help overthinking it. In the beginning, the zombies are all “others” to the uninfected humans, whether they’re bonies or R-analogues. In the conclusion, the “others” are divided into two categories. The R-analogues are others who can be re-integrated by assimilation (and, er, not dining on brains any more). The bonies are irredeemable and must be shot in the head. Inevitably, I see a parallel with immigration: between acceptable immigrants, who have the resources, skills, and sufficient cultural adaptability to become part of a society, and those who don’t and therefore must be excluded.

I think this is one of the reasons the zombie concept is so appealing. It allows for a very soothing simplification of otherness, by giving human-shaped others a characteristic so repugnant, eating the living and turning them into zombies/others, that it is not difficult to justify their murder. It’s uncomplicated, comforting, and unrealistic.

And now if you’ll excuse me, I’m just going to finish this glass of wine and enjoy the shower/make-up scene soundtracked to M83’s “Midnight City”, because I refuse to let an excess of analysis spoil my enjoyment.

Mum, BBC
I really loved the first series (six half-hour episodes) of this. It was a charming little character-oriented comedy with some adorable characters, especially the Mum. I also have a real soft spot for the ditzy girlfriend of her twenty-something son. The first season was largely free of humiliation porn.

The second series is not. It is centred on the other characters rather than the titular one, and the writers have chosen to highlight and poke their fingers into the more cringeworthy flaws of those characters. I squirmed my way through the second episode and could just about stomach the third, but I haven’t mustered up the courage to see if I can manage the fourth yet.

In summary: Watch the first series, it’s lovely. I’m reserving judgment with the second.

The Last Leg, Channel 4
The bloke and I have been watching this satirical news show on Friday evenings pretty regularly for a while. It seems to have gone off the boil a bit. It’s still amusing, but a little bit too up its own arse.

Hard Sun, BBC
Another of those six-episode BBC things, except each one was an hour. This was billed as “sci-fi” so the bloke and I gave it a whirl. Apart from the basic premise (this is not a spoiler), which is that the Sun is going to explode a lot sooner than a billion years from now, it is not sci-fi. The basic premise is not explored or expanded upon. This is, in fact, a grisly crime drama. ( Spoilers )

The best thing about it is Agyness Deyn. She plays a sort of undercover vice cop. She is properly nails, an adaptable survivor, and a truly interesting and original character.

If you’re looking for clever world-building and plot-driven sci-fi, seek elsewhere. If you want a character-driven crime drama and don’t mind quite a bit of gore, then give it a whirl.

Mcmafia, BBC
This eight episode series was pretty heavily advertised and got a lot of attention in the mainstream UK press. It’s a dramatisation of the non-fiction book by Misha Glenny that explores the world of Russian oligarchs and of “dark” money and its movement. It was an expensive production, and billed as the lead actor’s Bond audition. Lots of people disliked it for being too slick and too glib about the more difficult issues it was supposed to tackle, like human trafficking. (Content Warning: The second episode centres the trafficking through the story of a Russian girl who thinks she’s going to work in a hotel in Cairo. It was very, very hard to watch.) I think those are fair criticisms. I also think one point that was underappreciated was just how beautifully Russian the story was. The directors/producers made a point of casting actors from the countries they were supposed to be from (Israel, Czech Republic, etc). This was a successful all around strategy, but it really shone through in the Russian actors’ performances. The television story uses as its focus a long-standing feud between the members of two families, one exiled and one in a position of power in the Russian government, who are doggedly set against one another. All the family members are as devastatingly flawed as in any Tolstoy novel or Chekhov play, and despite their professions of devotion to one another’s well-being, their actions mostly serve to tear them apart. The main character is trying to bridge this gap, first through upright and legal means, and then through increasingly devious and illegal ones. ( Spoiler ) Despite its flaws, excessive gloss and occasional ultraviolence, it is a fantastic tribute to the best of Russian storytelling, and for that alone I’m glad I watched it.

It has come to my attention after the most recent Unscientific Poll that two thirds of the respondents did not know what I was on about. I can only assume that this is because some of you are unfamiliar with the BBC radio comedy series “Cabin Pressure”, and I would like to convince you to hunt it up and listen to it.

Cabin Pressure features the following principle characters.

Carolyn Knapp-Shappey - owner and CEO of MJN air, the tiny charter airline whose adventures form the backbone of the series. Carolyn obtained the aeroplane during her divorce, and decided to start the airline, or “air dot”, as she calls it because “you can’t put one aeroplane in a line”, with it. Played by Stephanie Cole.

Martin Crieff - one of MJN’s two pilots, and the captain. It is very important that everyone remembers he is the captain, especially Douglas. Martin is insecure, pernickety, morally upright, very bad with people and played by Benedict Cumberbatch.

Douglas Richardson - the other of MJN’s pilots, and the first officer. Douglas is confident, smug, morally flexible, oily and played by Roger Allam.

Arthur Shappey - MJN’s cabin crew, and Carolyn’s son. He is unquenchably enthusiastic about everything and everyone and sincerely believes they are all brilliant. Inventor and perpetual player of the Yellow Car game. Played by John Finnemore, writer of the show.

Gertie (“Golf Tango India”) - the highly unreliable, 16-seater, fictional Lockheed-McDonnell 3-12 aircraft on which the continued operation of MJN depends. Gertie doesn’t say much, but she does threaten to fall apart fairly frequently. Carolyn’s ex-husband is peculiarly obsessed with getting the plane back.

The overall tone of the series is one of gentle humour and absurdity, and generally avoids the kind of cringeworthy humiliation scenes that I don’t enjoy in British comedy. There are several minor and highly memorable characters played by outrageously famous actors, including Prunella Scales and Anthony Head. I own all the episodes on CD and sent them to my parents as well, who loved them.

If you want to sample some Cabin Pressure episodes for free and don’t mind jumping in towards the middle-end-ish, then you can listen to the last four episodes of Series Four - Vaduz (Lichtenstein), Wokingham (UK), Xinzhou (China) and Yverdon-Les-Bains (Switzerland) - on the BBC Radio iPlayer here. I believe you can listen to the radio anywhere in the world. BBC Radio 4 Extra regularly airs Cabin Pressure re-runs, so a periodic check of Radio iPlayer will eventually net you all of the episodes.

All four series, including the Christmas special and the finale (Zurich, a two-parter) can be purchased on Audible, and can probably be procured from less “traditional” sources too.

I recently scored tickets to a recording of the long-running BBC Radio 4 programme "Just a Minute". For those who are unfamiliar with it, four panelists are given, in turn, a random topic by the host and must speak for one minute on it without repetition, hesitation or deviation. The other three panelists try to catch them out, and if they score a correct challenge, they take over the topic and continue speaking. A single round can take quite a lot longer than one minute whilst the panelists and host argue over whether or not the challenges are in fact correct. Or end up chatting about something else entirely.

This was the first recording I'd attended that wasn't at Broadcasting House. It was in the Shaw Theatre, between Euston and Kings Cross stations, and it has greater capacity than Broadcasting House. Unfortunately, it isn't air-conditioned. It was also packed full, because "Just a Minute" is a cultural institution and is still very popular. Nicholas Parsons has been hosting the show for almost fifty years, and the adulation he received at the start and end of the recording made it practically impossible to hear his greetings and farewell.

We had a little unintentional pre-show entertainment. The ticketing system works thus: You turn up an hour before the doors open, present your ticket and are given a sticker with a number on it. When the doors open, the production guests (wearing wristbands) file in first, and then the ticket holders are allowed entry in groups of fifty. It all works in quite a civilised fashion despite the crush in the lobby, because British people love queuing.

However, once we'd (nearly) all sat down, it became evident that there'd been some sort of cock-up involving the seating of the production guests. Four people wearing viridescent wristbands were stood at the front, looking up at the full rows of seats with evident displeasure. One was a blonde woman in a white jacket with a formidable aspect. I should not like to have been the young production assistant attempting to mollify her and receiving the pointy end of said displeasure. Hands were waved about. The small number of solitary seats scattered about the theatre were indicated and obviously rejected. Eventually, some audience members were convinced to shift around slightly to permit the foursome to sit in pairs on opposite sides of the theatre.

This had all taken a good ten minutes, by which point the ostensible start time of the recording had passed. The drama had now attracted the attention of literally every person in the audience. When the formidable woman sat down, the entire theatre broke into a cheer. She stood up a few seconds later to hand her empty drink cup (two will get you seven that it was a large gin and tonic) to a frazzled usher. The audience booed. Unfased, she turned around, smiled beautifully and resumed her seat gracefully. I was impressed, as I suspect most of the rest of the audience would have died of embarrassment right then.

It was not until the very end of the show when Nicholas Parsons was bidding us farewell that we had the measure of what had transpired. "If," he said, with a twinkle in his eye "you happen to run across the fellow who tore the sign reading 'Reserved for Nicholas Parson's wife' off the seats in the front..." He made a small, meaningful gesture with his cane.

The four panelists were Paul Merton, Tony Hawks, Zoë Lyons and Julian Clary. I shall say no more of the two very funny shows that were recorded, but I think I can safely share another pre-recording anecdote. Nicholas Parsons asked each panelist to speak into their microphone for the sake of the sound engineer at the back. Not one to pass up an opportunity for innuendo, Julian Clary put on his most deliberately camp voice and said, "Hello, David, are you receiving me in the rear?" Nicholas Parsons: "Yes, I think so. Poor David. He can't hear anything now."

After departing the Shaw, I arrived at my place of sleep around 22:30. I walked in the door and was greeted by the smell of freshly baked apple & rhubarb crumble and vanilla custard heating on the hob. A whisky glass was placed in my hand and unopened bottles of Lagavulin and Scapa presented upon the kitchen island for my perusal and selection.

Sometimes, I am a very lucky Nanila indeed.

The bloke and I been listening to this adorable radio series since it started re-running on BBC Radio 4 Extra a couple of months ago.

Written by John Finnemore, it features four people who crew a private airline. They get up to hilarious hijinks whilst flying bonkers passengers around the world. The voice actors are people whom you just might recognise:

1. Owner and Operator of MJN Air, Mother, Architect of Adventure: Carolyn Knapp-Shappey, voiced by Stephanie Cole (also known from TV series Open All Hours and Doc Martin, amongst many others)
   
   
2. First Officer, Sarcastronaut: Douglas Richardson, voiced by Roger Allam (I know he is a srs thespeean but I will always think of him as Mannion from The Thick of It)
   
   
3. Flight Attendant, Momma’s Boy, Dogsbody: Arthur Shappey, voiced by John Finnemore
   
   
4. Aeroplane: Gertie, who forebears silently the antics of her crew, and finally,
   
   
5. Captain, Fastidious Fusspot, Target Practice for Douglas: Martin Crieff, voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch (who’s been in some stuff lately that a few people on the internet are mildly fannish about).

Anyway, the plots are ridiculous, the dialogue is wonderful and you should listen to it on iPlayer Radio (Currently re-running Series 2, available everywhere in Europe, not sure about outside though). You can also purchase it from AudioGo on CD or as MP3 downloads (it’s on my Christmas Non-Sectarian Festival Holiday list).