Things I'm Looking Forward To Doing Now That I'm British: Number Four

[nanila]

4. Greeting people awkwardly. When I lived in the States, it took me years to learn to greet people using the appropriate firm handshake or hug (depending on the situation and/or level of familiarity with the greetee). I never felt like I was doing it right.

Then I moved here, and it became totally unclear how to greet anyone no matter what the situation or level of familiarity. People would often fail to introduce themselves or shake hands. Even after a lengthy period of conversation we still somehow wouldn't get round to exchanging actual names and I'd be reduced to asking others in private afterward who that was. If I couldn't remember (or failed to discover) their name on the second meeting, I'd feel uncomfortable going for the more familiar kiss on the cheek - and of course if you've decided that one kiss is appropriate, the other person will inevitably lean in for the second on the other cheek and then you have to do follow through but there's this pause that makes it clear you misjudged and oh, the embarrassment. And if you've decided to go for two kisses, maybe because you've already been at the pub for an hour and they've just arrived and you're overflowing with sauce-induced love for humanity in general and they've just finished a rotten day at work, they'll pull away and oh, the embarrassment.

The saving grace of this fiasco was learning that this is the right way to greet people in Britain. Now I have an excuse to do it forever. Hurrah!

Comments

[liseuse]

People would often fail to introduce themselves or shake hands.
Heh! This reminded me of this article from someone returning to America after living in England in which she says:
"Once, in an experiment designed to illustrate Britons’ unease with the way Americans introduce themselves in social situations (in Britain, you’re supposed to wait for the host to do it), I got a friend at a party we were having to go up to a man he had never met. “Hi, I’m Stephen Bayley,” my friend said, sticking out his hand.

“Is that supposed to be some sort of joke?” the man responded."

As a glasses wearer and someone who is marginally uncomfortable with even cheek-kissing someone I don't know, I find the introduction of the cheek kiss very very disturbing. Could we not just stick with umm-ing at each other awkwardly?

[nanila]

One of the things I'm picking up from the comments on this post are the complaints about cheek-kissing. No one enjoys it.

This is probably why it's become endemic.

[liseuse]

Probably. I find visiting my father in France a massive trial because every person he introduces me to goes in for the cheek kiss. I flinch, subtly (I hope), and fuddle my way through it. My stepmother has lived in France for ten years and she still hasn't got used to it.