Things I'm Looking Forward To Doing Now That I'm British: Number Four

[nanila]

4. Greeting people awkwardly. When I lived in the States, it took me years to learn to greet people using the appropriate firm handshake or hug (depending on the situation and/or level of familiarity with the greetee). I never felt like I was doing it right.

Then I moved here, and it became totally unclear how to greet anyone no matter what the situation or level of familiarity. People would often fail to introduce themselves or shake hands. Even after a lengthy period of conversation we still somehow wouldn't get round to exchanging actual names and I'd be reduced to asking others in private afterward who that was. If I couldn't remember (or failed to discover) their name on the second meeting, I'd feel uncomfortable going for the more familiar kiss on the cheek - and of course if you've decided that one kiss is appropriate, the other person will inevitably lean in for the second on the other cheek and then you have to do follow through but there's this pause that makes it clear you misjudged and oh, the embarrassment. And if you've decided to go for two kisses, maybe because you've already been at the pub for an hour and they've just arrived and you're overflowing with sauce-induced love for humanity in general and they've just finished a rotten day at work, they'll pull away and oh, the embarrassment.

The saving grace of this fiasco was learning that this is the right way to greet people in Britain. Now I have an excuse to do it forever. Hurrah!

Comments

[kake]

I don't understand why cheek-kissing is now British. It doesn't feel at all British to me! (Also, I hate it.)

[cxcvi]

Glad it's not just me (or my asexual tendancies) that dislike it.

[kake]

Definitely not just you. I actually like kissing people! Just not in this context.

[liseuse]

I don't like it either! Partly because I dislike kissing people I don't know and partly because I always fear I'm going to injure someone with my glasses.

[sfred]

It doesn't feel British to me - and so I interpret it as South-Eastern English. I have had to get used to lots of bloody weird conventions since moving from Yorkshire to London.

For example, today I was chatting with someone else - a stranger - in the queue in the postal delivery office, and then I got to the tube train and sat down and he appeared and sat down opposite me, so we said hello and exchanged pleasantries. The rest of the tube passengers looked horrified!
We both had noticeably not-London accents (me Yorkshire; him Jamaica).

[kake]

Shortly after I first moved to England, a friend from back in Wales came to visit. He went out for a wander around Oxford and came back complaining that he'd been thrown out of a pub even though he'd not been doing anything wrong. Turned out he'd been going up to people in the pub and trying to start a conversation, and then trying it with different groups when they ignored him.

I find this quite complicated when I'm exploring around the fringes of London. Once I'm far enough out of the heavily populated bits, people seem to expect me to smile and maybe even say hello as I walk past them, but I always end up accidentally blanking at least one person before I work out whether I'm far out enough yet.

[alwayswondered]

One of our team leaders at work lives in France. Every time he comes over he insists on two cheek-kisses from all the women. It's so cringe-inducing. I HATE cheek-kissing.