I refuse to apologise on behalf of the phenotypical expression of my genetic material

[nanila]

Algerian man in restaurant: You look Algerian, actually.
Me: No no. I'm half southeast Asian.
AM: You're sure you aren't part Algerian?
Me: Yes.
AM, looking disbelievingly at me: Hm...I'll have to get you tell my fortune later.
Me: ?!

You could replace "Algerian" in that story with just about any nationality or ethnic group on Earth and I will have experienced it previously. Okay, you couldn't replace the part about the fortune-telling. Are mixed-race people renowned for their psychic powers? If so, how come no one told me earlier? I could have made my fortune as Madame Nanila by now. Curses.

Here are the groups to which people have not only insisted I must belong, but gotten upset with me to some degree for not belonging to them, over the years.

• Moroccan
  
• Thai
  
• Jewish
  
• Spanish
  
• Vietnamese
  
• Samoan
  
• Indonesian
  
• Indian
  
• Japanese
  
• Mexican
  
• Italian
  
• Cuban
  
• Unmixed white

I don't mind being difficult to pigeonhole. I do mind, however, when people get peeved because I don't fit into the preconceived identity box they made for me. How on Earth is that offensive?

Comments

[ajnabieh]

I am unmarked-white (Irish/English/etc). When I was doing fieldwork in Bay Ridge (I was working in the Arab part of it, but it's got big Chinese, Russian, and Latin@ communities too) I was asked by one of the kids, "What are you? I mean, are you like, Spanish, or Russian, or what?" I was amused that those were the categories. (He accepted "Irish" as an answer, and that my son was also "Russian" (Latvian, but, you know, close enough).)

There is a way in which mixed-race/ambiguously racial folks get read as "like me" by other POCs that I've noticed--is this mostly how it happens to you? It's definitely happened to my ex-roommate (Mexican, clearly not a lot of mestizo ancestry, but his Spanish ancestors have to have been part North African, just to look at him).

Also, I think The Exotic Madame Nanila is an excellent tactic for paying off student debt, y/n? And honestly, people getting offended? People are assholes.

[nanila]

There is a way in which mixed-race/ambiguously racial folks get read as "like me" by other POCs that I've noticed--is this mostly how it happens to you?

Yes, very often it is. I sense a lot of hope in the question. Most of the time the answer brings either surprise or mild disappointment, but every now and then you get some weirdo who tries to tell you you're wrong (!).