I refuse to apologise on behalf of the phenotypical expression of my genetic material

[nanila]

Algerian man in restaurant: You look Algerian, actually.
Me: No no. I'm half southeast Asian.
AM: You're sure you aren't part Algerian?
Me: Yes.
AM, looking disbelievingly at me: Hm...I'll have to get you tell my fortune later.
Me: ?!

You could replace "Algerian" in that story with just about any nationality or ethnic group on Earth and I will have experienced it previously. Okay, you couldn't replace the part about the fortune-telling. Are mixed-race people renowned for their psychic powers? If so, how come no one told me earlier? I could have made my fortune as Madame Nanila by now. Curses.

Here are the groups to which people have not only insisted I must belong, but gotten upset with me to some degree for not belonging to them, over the years.

• Moroccan
  
• Thai
  
• Jewish
  
• Spanish
  
• Vietnamese
  
• Samoan
  
• Indonesian
  
• Indian
  
• Japanese
  
• Mexican
  
• Italian
  
• Cuban
  
• Unmixed white

I don't mind being difficult to pigeonhole. I do mind, however, when people get peeved because I don't fit into the preconceived identity box they made for me. How on Earth is that offensive?

Comments

[becala]

I think I've only gotten Native American, Korean, Mexican, Japanese, and Filipino. I've only gotten Thai once, and that was based on my name, not my appearance. And I've never had anyone be personally offended by my not belonging to whatever group they thought I was part of. Or maybe they were and I just didn't notice. There's something to be said for being too thick to comprehend nuances in social situations.

My favorite was when the two dudes at the corner shop asked me if I were Native or Japanese. Apparently there were no other possibilities available to me.

Oh, I think I've gotten Greek once.

[nanila]

I think people tend to go with what's familiar to them. Spending more time on this side of the pond would probably get you some more north African guesses.

[ajnabieh]

I am unmarked-white (Irish/English/etc). When I was doing fieldwork in Bay Ridge (I was working in the Arab part of it, but it's got big Chinese, Russian, and Latin@ communities too) I was asked by one of the kids, "What are you? I mean, are you like, Spanish, or Russian, or what?" I was amused that those were the categories. (He accepted "Irish" as an answer, and that my son was also "Russian" (Latvian, but, you know, close enough).)

There is a way in which mixed-race/ambiguously racial folks get read as "like me" by other POCs that I've noticed--is this mostly how it happens to you? It's definitely happened to my ex-roommate (Mexican, clearly not a lot of mestizo ancestry, but his Spanish ancestors have to have been part North African, just to look at him).

Also, I think The Exotic Madame Nanila is an excellent tactic for paying off student debt, y/n? And honestly, people getting offended? People are assholes.

[nanila]

There is a way in which mixed-race/ambiguously racial folks get read as "like me" by other POCs that I've noticed--is this mostly how it happens to you?

Yes, very often it is. I sense a lot of hope in the question. Most of the time the answer brings either surprise or mild disappointment, but every now and then you get some weirdo who tries to tell you you're wrong (!).

[(Anonymous)]

Huh. I was pretty sure you were from space or something. Like Bjork.

[katzimir]

I didn't mean to leave that anonymously :)

[nanila]

I'm totally going to tell people I'm from space now.

[namey]

Hrm. Are you sure you're not Caucasian?

[Just making sure all the bases are covered.] >_>

[nanila]

This reminds me of this clip: Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you stressed? Are you sure?

[gominokouhai]

It's only because he fucked up the line. It's supposed to go: Are you sure you don't have any Algerian in you? Would you like some?

[nanila]

It's not like you can sidle off and then do that kind of thing over again, is it.

[berangere]

This is quite surrealist...
Maybe he wanted to make sure you're not Algerian because he thinks Algerian are bad fortune-tellers.

It reminded me this sketch from Elie Kakou : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jge5NLYKZI4

[nanila]

I didn't catch all of that but what I did get resonated strongly (and hilariously)!

[lark_ascends]

I do mind, however, when people get peeved because I don't fit into the preconceived identity box they made for me. How on Earth is that offensive?

I don't get people. There is no way that that is offensive.

[nanila]

I can understand disappointment and surprise, but anger is just a bit weird. It implies I was under an obligation to be what was expected.

[kake]

People suck. (That's all I can come up with right now.)

I do like the idea of you being FROM SPACE though!

[nanila]

That is what I'm going to tell people in future. SPACE!

[purplecthulhu]

The first time I got this was when I was accused of being Australian, the New Zealander, and finally South African (this was before the end of apartheid) while visiting California.

On the whole people are people and I've found that if their ethnic background becomes relevant they'll tell you. Everything else is just being annoying - deliberately or otherwise...

[nanila]

Californians are mad. They probably thought you were an actor prepping for a role in a film as a scientist (evil, of course - non-American scientists are evil).