Day 49/183: Scenes from the pandemic apocalypse

[nanila]

Scene 1 Yesterday. The weather’s nice and we’re digging over the veg patch with the help of the children.

Him: “I’m just going to pop to the garden centre and get some manure and seeds.”
Me: “Good idea.”

45 minutes later

Him: “I bought 300 litres of horse shit and enough seeds and seed potatoes to get us through rationing, when it starts.”
Me: “...”

Scene 2 Today. Weather’s still nice. Veg patch has had manure dug into it and things planted in it.

Him: “If you don’t mind, I’m going to pop to the shops a bit earlier than I have been doing [after the children are asleep] and see if it’s better stocked. I’m not going to panic-buy anything.”
Me: “Sure. OK, no worries, I’ll make dinner.”

45 minutes later

Him, plonking six bags and some large bits of wood on the floor.: “I couldn’t find pasta, rice or eggs, but here are a bunch of gardening supplies and £110 worth of groceries, including tinned spinach.”
Me: “...”

I mean, I’m the American one in this relationship, aren’t I supposed to be the one who goes full underground survival bunker in this situation?

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Keep calm and buy a ton of shit

[nanila]

The distribution of said poop has been effective. And stinky.

[fadedwings]

This made me laugh, thank you ♥

[nanila]

I'm very glad. :)

[omnipotent]

300 litres of horse shit

LOL okay son

He's not the first person I've heard murmuring about rationing, though. I do wonder if such a thing may become necessary to cut down on people unnecessarily hoarding and disrupting the food supply.

[nanila]

Stocks seem to be replenishing now. There was very little missing on the bloke's most recent foray to the shops. But if the lockdown extends into months rather than weeks, that may change.

[whatarewordsfor]

It’s all of us. I’m hoarding oatmeal because.... reasons?

[antisoppist]

I have a teenage son who makes himself porridge to survive between meals and I have been stockpiling oats for weeks by just adding an extra packet whenever I was in the supermarket and I've found I've got 4 kg in the house.

[nanila]

Porridge is an essential in this household. We buy at least a kilo every week.

[darkemeralds]

I'm fighting hard against a desire to buy too much. I might regret it later.

It sounds like you're going to have some delicious produce later in the season.

[nanila]

It's quite hard not to succumb to the herd instinct. Stocks now seem to be recovering, so hopefully it feels less imperative to people since the supply chain is holding. But if the government signals that lockdown may continue for months rather than weeks, it may set off another wave of panic.

Either way, we should have a lovely crop of home-grown veg and fruit to consume over the summer. That has to be good.

[siliconshaman]

It's a Blitz thing.. everyone knows what rationing means...

[angrboda]

I was thinking the same thing. Look up sawdust bread.

[azurelunatic]

Hopefully it's all stuff you'll be able to use!

[nanila]

Absolutely! I'm very excited about how much good stuff we should have to eat over the summer and autumn.

[annofowlshire]

I am so sad right now we don’t have a garden I can plant in. I wish we’d managed to do that move to the countryside we’ve been planning for years now already. I did do some lettuce pots with some seeds potting soil we had from a couple of years ago and I’m making a sourdough starter so I don’t have to rely on acquiring bread yeast, so I guess that’s something....

Is the survival bunker mentality an American thing? I always thought it was just my family. My dad was a definitely a preserved food hoarder, but he always said it was because our family was ex-Mormons (his parents, I think, I think). Gave up God, but not preparing for the End Times. I’m finding during all of this (and also maybe my desires to have a small holding), that this might have rubbed off on me more than I thought O_O I’m not hoarding and I’m trying to use my powers for good (getting my neighbours on my prebooked grocery orders since they can’t get them, offering them odds and ends we can spare if they need it, etc.) , but I was definitely ready more prepared as this started than my neighbours.

[nanila]

How is your lettuce getting on? Ours has popped up in the cold frame and we're optimistic. Your bread has been looking amazing so the sourdough starter is certainly paying off!

Oh yes, I think the survival bunker mentality is definitely an American thing. It gets inculcated relatively late, I think. I only remember becoming aware of it around 8-10 years old, when living with my maternal grandparents, who were children of the Great Depression and were definitely prepared - or at least thought they were - for EVERYTHING. Always extra clean drinking water in the garage, regularly replenished, and extra tins of petrol. Fully stocked larder, kept up to date with tinned, preserved, and dried goods. And those are the more - benign, shall we say - elements of the preparation.

[uninvitedcat]

I’m kinda wishing I’d bought 3 tonnes of well rotted manure last year, instead of only 2!

[nanila]

I hope you're getting good mileage out of your two! Our plantings so far are performing well. Fingers crossed...

[antisoppist]

Did Him grow up in the 1980s reading UK YA post-apocalyptic nuclear war fiction/SF? That, combined with parents or grandparents who can remember the war, leaves you with the firm impression that one day you will have to hole up in your home with a limited food supply because if you leave the house, you will be dead of nuclear fallout dust or attacked by Triffids. We have been mentally prepared for this all our lives.

[tree_and_leaf]

Yes, it's true! *looks nervously at the garden*

[cmcmck]

And aren't you the one who's supposed to do tinned (ech) spinach?..........

That sounds like a manbuy if I ever saw one! :o)

[nanila]

I don't think I've ever bought tinned spinach before, haha!

[kotturinn]

Tinned spinach? Goodness - that's further out than me! 😸😸😸😸
He may have a point about rationing, depending on how much of the supply chain is disrupted for how long. Hopefully not but yay for growing veg anyway.

[highlyeccentric]

... where do I get tinned spinnach? I can only find frozen here... (Switzerland)

[silveradept]

That's one possible way of dealing with the stress, I guess?

[nanila]

Yep. I hadn't realised how deep the survivalist instinct ran in him. It was a bit of a shock.

[redsixwing]

I admit to chuckling!

I also admit to having a truckload of wood mulch delivered, and inventorying my seeds for an unprecedented burst of gardening this year.*looks sheepish*

Virtual high fives to you and the bloke, and I sincerely hope we're overreacting.

[nanila]

Me too. Whether we are overreacting or not, the garden is going to look fantastic this summer!

[ljravengirl]

WOW
Yeah, that's... planning ahead, all right

[nanila]

Uh huh. If he turns out to be right, though, he has carte blanche to be unbearably smug.

[sunflowerinrain]

He really did? O_O

Ah, but you'll be able to sell vegetables to the starving hordes!

[nanila]

Yes, yes he did.

How many rolls of loo paper do you reckon a courgette will be worth?

[emelbe]

Please let us know when he acquires night vision goggles and starts making his own bow and arrows.

[nanila]

He was muttering something about rabbit traps the other evening. I reckon we're not far off.

[corvidology]

England had the longest rationing of any of the WWII countries, continuing after the war was over.

I think we all grew up with older relatives telling us tales of rationing and "Victory Gardening."

[nanila]

Yes. It clearly made an impression!