Anecdotes from an English Country Village

[nanila]

Anecdote 1: Today I've had the ultimate "living in the countryside" experience.

I had to stop the car in the middle of the road.

To move a giant turnip.

Sadly there are no photos of this momentous occasion, as the event resulted in the countryside version of a traffic jam (two cars behind me, one car on the approach). So the poor turnip was hastily consigned to the hedgerow and I got back into the car.

It also demonstrated to me that I still think like a city person, for I automatically clocked the thing in the road as rubbish and chucked it away, rather than thinking, free comedy oversized vegetable == soup for days, and placing it reverently in my car.

Anecdote 2: Anecdote 2 is behind the cut . I can now count the following amongst both "Experiences I shall not soon forget" and "Experiences no one warned me about before I became a parent": Chasing down a baby making a speed-crawl break for the door of the bathroom that the toddler has just left open...in the midst of trying to put in a tampon. Lovely. Thanks, kids.

Comments

[lenores_raven]

well, maybe the owner of the turnip will come back for it. :-))

[nanila]

Maybe! Or perhaps one of the horses in the adjacent field got it.

[perennialanna]

Was it definitely a turnip, or might it have been a sugar beet? The latter are much more common round here, especially at this time of year.

[nanila]

Maybe, but I didn't think sugar beets had that distinctive purply-pink top?

[pbristow]

Well, that's a turnip for the books... =:o}

[DUCKS FROM THE INEVITABLE THWAPPING]

[nanila]

*badum-crash*

Well punned, sir, well punned.

[gominokouhai]

But did it look like a thingy?

And "ladybit gorezone" is going to be the name of my next thrash metal band.

[nanila]

Didn't look like a thingy, unless the thingy was seriously unwell.

I'm mildly incredulous that it isn't a thrash metal band name already.

No cut, but love anyways!

[ed_rex]

There really isn't a good reason not to pick up found novelty vegetables, is there?

Meanwhile, your second anecdote hid behind no cut in my feed, but I'm not bothered; some indignities simply must be shared!

Re: No cut, but love anyways!

[nanila]

No, there isn't. I'm still kicking myself.

I hadn't realised cut text commands didn't work outside DW/LJ, sorry!

Re: No cut, but love anyways!

[ed_rex]

Actually, they do work, but need a different syntax from the one you used. I commend you to DW's help section, http://www.dreamwidth.org/support/faqbrowse?faqid=88. The cut will even work when cross-posted to Livejournal (if you use LJ as well).

[silveradept]

Giant turnip may not have been all usable material - could be why it's in the road in the first place.

Makes for a great children's story, though.

[nanila]

I'm pretty sure Giant Turnip fell off the back of a tractorload of turnips and wasn't missed.

[major_clanger]

Like you, I am suddenly put in mind of Blackadder the Third

Blackadder: Baldrick, I've always been meaning to ask: Do you have any ambitions in life apart from the acquisition of turnips?
Baldrick: Er, no.
Blackadder: So what would you do if I gave you a thousand pounds?
Baldrick: I'd get a little turnip of my own.
Blackadder: So what would you do if I gave you a million pounds?
Baldrick: Oh, that's different. I'd get a great big turnip in the country.

- S3E1, 'Dish and Dishonesty'

[nanila]

Related: I was delighted when the bloke told me that one of his teachers at school used Blackadder the Third to teach the class about rotten boroughs.

[major_clanger]

In the RAF we were taught court-martial procedure in a lecture enlivened with extensive clips from the 'Flanders Pigeon-Murderer' episode of Blackadder Goes Forth!

[untonuggan]

awesome turnip story!

(apparently i think like a country person, though one generation removed from said countryside.)

oh god lady gorezone experience sounds...yeah, wow. memorable.

[nanila]

Imagine the amount of soup I could have made! Litres of the stuff. *sigh*

[azurelunatic]

Why did the turnip cross the road?

[nanila]

Beets me.

[weaverbird]

That turnip story will never stop being funny. But yeah, should've brought it home. *g*

And oh, the endless indignities of parenting. Yikes.

[nanila]

I'm still kicking myself for not bringing it home. :D