Things I'm Looking Forward To Doing Now That I'm British: Number Ten

[nanila]

10. Never having to interact with candy corn ever again. I hate myself a little for even mentioning the stuff, because I’m slightly afraid of inspiring enough curiosity in my British friends that they’ll consider importing it. I beg you, please don’t. It may look tempting at first, with its unusual triangular shape and multicoloured stripes. I assure you it is nasty. Those stripes are not indicative of any variation in flavour, which is disgustingly saccharine and plasticky all the way through. It has no business claiming any relationship with actual edible foodstuffs, it really doesn’t. I’m glad that thus far, the creep of Americanised Halloween into Britain has yet to include the introduction of candy corn, as nine years without it has been blissful.

Comments

[foxfinial]

Have you seen the expansion of terrible US candy in Tesco "world food" aisles though? It alarms me. No one needs that candy.

[caulkhead]

This. I mean, people import Hershey's. Why?

[foxfinial]

Everyone wants to try burnt foul chocolate once, I guess?

[nanila]

It tastes burnt? I haven't had it for a long time, but my abiding impressing is wax.

[quinara]

The one time I tried Hershey's I actually just got the taste of stomach bile. Never again!

[nanila]

I haven't been in a Tesco in quite a long time. My village doesn't have one (cue chanting: "For the greater good").

[recessional]

THE GREATER GOOD.

[nanila]

:D Thank you, that brought a massive grin to my face.

[ankaret]

I've never been totally sure what candy corn is. Or Peeps, either.

[nanila]

They always make me think of Apu in the Simpsons. "Silly customer, do you not know it is impossible to hurt a Twinkie?" (For Twinkie, substitute any other candy seemingly comprised entirely of unfood.)

[azurelunatic]

Peeps is sugar-dipped stale marshmallow.

Candy corn is what happened when someone mixed a batch of plastic with honey by accident and then absently popped it into their mouth to chew on in place of a pen lid, and found that it was sort of digestible.

I think.

My co-workers like it better than I do. Five pieces and I'm done for the year. It's tradition.

[gominokouhai]

Tried it once, wasn't impressed. Stretches the definition of "sweet" a little far for my liking.

There are times when I quite like Hershey's (Cookies 'n' Creme [sic] has its moments). And Reese's are fantastic but could theoretically be improved.

[nanila]

A Reese's with bourbon, you say? I must try this at once. Well, maybe after I finish labs today.

I used to love the Reese's adverts around Halloween. They had a fabulous one with a Reese's cup appearing out of a mist with two round holes in the top and a Dracula-esque voice saying, "I like to eat the peanut butter...first."