Humuhumu's Week of Geek Chic Days 2 & 3

[nanila]

Did I mention that the week of geek chic wouldn't be contiguous? I guess that's fairly obvious now. I have time to do about one creative/fun thing per day while Humuhumu is sleeping, and taking a photo with my proper camera isn't always it. We have managed two more days, however, and the pictures are behind the cut.






I've been meeting up with a few of the mums from my NCT course every Wednesday afternoon. We go to a cafe in a garden centre, which may seem like an odd choice until you know that:

• It has big comfy sofas with space around them for prams and car seats.
  
• There is a lovely girl at the counter who always encourages us to have cake. (I don't need encouragement to have cake.)
  
• The cake is delicious and served in generous slices.
  
• It's £1.40 for a pot of tea that yields at least three cups.
  
• The toasted sandwiches are excellent if you've missed lunch.
  
• Those of us who are breastfeeding can do so in comfort.*

I'm not an exceptionally social person, so this and one other visit are just about all I need during the week. When the bloke asks what we talked about, I often find it difficult to remember. At our last meeting, Humuhumu was being fussy. I couldn't get her to feed, she didn't want to be burped and she didn't need a nappy change. (It turned out she just wanted a cuddle.) Frustrated, I told her, "I don't understand you!" Another mum said, "Oh, it's so good to hear someone else say that." I think that sums up why it's helpful and why we're never there for less than two hours, even if the last bit of it is mostly sitting quietly or tending to our babies.

This same mum is the one who tries to get her baby and mine to interact. It would never have occurred to me to do that (See: not particularly social). I think putting Humuhumu into nursery for a day or two a week as soon as she is at least partially weaned will be the right thing to do, lest I raise a strange little hermit. She may turn out to be a strange little hermit anyway, but I'd like that to be her choice and not an imposition of my introversion.

* Interesting facts about our group: There were eight mums on my NCT course. Of those eight, three gave birth naturally. Only two are still exclusively breastfeeding, including me - and the other person who's breastfeeding also gave birth naturally. For various reasons, we're also the only ones who had immediate skin-to-skin contact with our babies post-birth.

Comments

[rmc28]

I like to sit Nico where he can look at other babies and children. He is usually very interested in them, more and more so as he gets older - this may be influenced by his older brother being VERY KEEN on interacting with him.

I had a c-section and my sister-in-law delivered naturally 12 weeks later, but she has given up breastfeeding already. From what she's told me, it seems she was given poor support and advice from the health visitor :(

[nanila]

I put Alani where she can watch Telstar. This could have interesting results.

Yes, proper support seems to be a big factor in keeping breastfeeding going. I got it from the bloke and from the midwives and health visitor in the first couple of weeks. They stayed for ages being encouraging and helping me feel relaxed about feeding.

[liseuse]

My cousin, because she is not a social!bunny, sent her small child to nursery fairly early, for a couple of days a week, so that Small Child could get practice at this whole "engaging with others" thing. Small Child is now the most gregarious person ever, and poor Cousin is busy having to interact with other parents because Small Child likes it.

According to Cousin, this is a good thing, because it means she now knows the person who lives next door to her. After living there for eight years. (I don't know how she managed that in The North. We moved into our house and about eight minutes later all of our neighbours came and introduced themselves. It was horrifying. (I am not a social!bunny))

[nanila]

I'm glad to hear that the part-time nursery strategy worked for someone else's child! (Although I will also find it exhausting if Humuhumu decides to become very outgoing.)

The Brummies are friendly too. We've met quite a few of our neighbours now. They pay a lot of attention to our comings and goings. A LOT. I would find it disturbing if they weren't so well-meaning.

[liseuse]

Luckily Small Child is now approaching the age where she can have it explained to her that the socialising will have to wait for Daddy to come home, because Mummy cannot bear the idea.

I do really appreciate the friendliness of the North. We moved alllll the way down South when I was 9, and it took us six months to meet our neighbours - and we lived on a road with three other houses! It's just creepy. So when we moved back up North, it was reassuring to actually be introduced to people, if a little full on that they all turned up at once.

[thirdbird]

Lovely! Aw, look at her beautiful cheeks!

I had a mom's group just like that, and it was a lifesaver - eventually we progressed to having group playdates at each other's apartments when the babies got more mobile, and even now, eight years later, we occasionally get together sans kids for a moms' night out.

Enjoy! How long does your maternity leave last?

[nanila]

Thank you!

It's great to hear you're still in touch with your mums group, especially since I'm so new to this area. I don't know anyone except this group of mums and all of us being at the same stage of child-rearing is making for a strong bonding experience.

My maternity leave lasts until the start of May next year. You can take up to a year if you want.

[lark_ascends]

She's gorgeous!!!

That garden cafe sounds lovely.

Luck with the socialising. It can be hard for those of us like you...

[nanila]

Thank you! Yes, it's a lovely spot. We have a favourite set of sofas - goodness knows how we'll react if we turn up and someone else is in it. Heh.

[lovepeaceohana]

Those outfits are ADORABLE.

And, having other parents as friends has definitely been game-changing for me, in a very positive way. Having been the first of our friends to have reproduced was really difficult because we lost contact with so many of them, and it was hard, and now I have so many lovely people who get it and it's just literally life-saving.

That garden cafe sounds great too - hooray for having places like that!

The stats about your group are also really interesting; I breastfed my first exclusively for four months, and then started offering him people-food (our bad, but, he was reaching for it!), and breastfed him until he was a year old, at which point he started refusing to nurse and was eating solids anyway. His was a natural birth with immediate skin-to-skin contact following. His brother, otoh, was born via emergency c-section and I only nursed him exclusively for maybe the first two months before we needed to begin supplementing with formula. It's interesting to see how that plays out with other mums.

[nanila]

I agree! I just wish they made sleep suits too.

We're among the last of our friends here to reproduce, and the bloke being the youngest of his siblings has also been helpful in this regard. Understanding of others' tardiness or unwillingness to do certain things comes less naturally when you're not a parent.

I breastfed my first exclusively for four months, and then started offering him people-food (our bad, but, he was reaching for it!)

Isn't it OK to let the baby lead the way in this regard? A friend said she started introducing big-people-food at three months because her daughter was so keen on it. Just mashed-banana and the like, but she felt it would have been cruel to keep her from it when she was so desperate to try it.

[surexit]

Those pictures are adorable!

[nanila]

Aww, thank you! I've been taking zillions of photos, but everyone tells me I'll be glad I did later because babies grow so quickly. Sounds like a good excuse to me. ;)