No Creeps Allowed

[nanila]

It struck me the other day that in 17 years of maintaining an online presence, I've never been stalked. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. This is a good thing. I'm just somewhat surprised, given the number of friends (online and in meatspace) who've been plagued by them over the years. From the heady early days on rec.music.industrial to the angst-ridden web pages of graduate school and now in my mellow, ripened state on DW/LJ, I've always managed to stay creep-free and attract minimal drama. Some of this is because my group/readership/circle has never been larger than a few hundred people. But also, I think I know what rules of interaction have helped me stay out of the sights of creepy persons. Do you agree? What tactics do you use to keep them at bay?

Poll #7150 Watching you.

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: Just the Poll Creator, participants: 18

Internets, why have I never been stalked?

You post insufficient public nudity.
7 (38.9%)

You talk about your personal life in guarded terms.
7 (38.9%)

You've been lucky.
14 (77.8%)

Your readership is generally sane and intelligent.
10 (55.6%)

Your crazy magnet is turned off.
2 (11.1%)

You don't post about politics.
3 (16.7%)

You have, you just didn't know it.
1 (5.6%)

You do now. MWAHAHAHAAAA!
1 (5.6%)

Some other reason.
3 (16.7%)

Some other reason?

Comments

[ankaret]

All the stalky nutjobs I ever acquired, I found in meatspace first.

Well, there was that one couple who used to persistently send messages to my website email when I had a website asking if I was interested in balloon fetishism (I'm not, and there was nothing about it on the website - there might have been a picture of an anime character holding a bunch of balloons, but it was the mid-90s and that kind of thing happened back then) and the guy who sent me emails saying that he was 'Welsh but very sensual', but those were more in the category of nutters than stalkers.

[holyschist]

I have only been stalked in meatspace, so...I have no idea what goes into online stalking.

[ironed_orchid]

I haven't been stalked online, but I have had a couple of creepy trolls, and an ex I had to ban when asking him politely not to leave comments on my lj led to him leaving more comments asking why.

I think making use of the access only funtion to post about personal stuff helps a lot.

[telegramsam]

I've never REALLY been stalked, but mostly because the second some guy who liked me made a comment on my livejournal, I flocked the whole thing, including retroactively to include all my old entries. I think I even purchased a paid account at LJ specifically to do it, since I couldn't get any of the widgets to work.

Put an end to it in a hurry, anyway....

[ex_pinetree696]

Never really been cyber-stalked (or real stalked), but I was the victim of some pretty bad identity theft. I used to have a very popular Chinese-language blog several years back on which I wrote some pretty outspoken and opinionated things. I had several hundred loyal readers and would get thousands of positive comments, but I also pissed alot of people with what I wrote. One of them, I guess, took my picture and name, made a fake social network account with them, and basically harrassed anyone he came in contact with. I found out about it and then bluffed by telling him I'd gone to the cops (I hadn't) and that they knew who he was and were just waiting for the word from me to go bust his ass. He sent a message apologizing and deleted his account. Now you know why I don't mention my name or show my picture on my current blog!

To my shame and embarrassment, long ago I found the LJ of an old girlfriend, one who had treated me very badly, and left her a series of not-very-nice comments. At the time it didn't hit me just how "stalkerish" it seemed, but it does now. I'm not proud of it, but I'm honest enough to admit it.

Finally, when I was a kid my mom had an IRL stalker (no Internet back then) and it a very terrifying situation for all of us.

[foxfinial]

I got a guy online who kept leaving unpleasant, offensive comments on my LJ, which was easily resolved by stopping anon comments (although I didn't want to do this) and banning all his known usernames. I don't even know for sure who he was, but I think I pissed him off somewhere over some trivial shite. idk.

[nanila]

IT WAS PROBABLY THAT TIME YOU POSTED IN ALL CAPS

[nanila]

Egads, the identity theft still sounds terrifying. It sounds like a sensible move to stay on your guard.

[nanila]

I think that was sensible. It's best to be prudent in these sorts of situations, I think.

I've only ever had to ban someone from commenting in my journal once, and that was because he just would not stop trying to antagonize everyone else who read it. It was tedious. I don't think counts as stalking, although I would call it harassment.

[nanila]

Both sound equally undesirable, in any case. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

[nanila]

Yes, that's why I lock most things that aren't funny stories. Occasionally I'll post something personal in public (like that funny story about the handprint on the wall), but that's just so the bloke can read it.

[nanila]

'Welsh but very sensual'

I don't mean to demean your suffering, but that just made me fall over laughing.

[holyschist]

Well, in retrospect it was a Valuable Learning Experience that gave me Boundaries With Spikes On Top, but yeah, stalking sucks.

[trendyprof]

I've had two.. one even wanted to fly down from the US to meet me - she'd made plans and everything! I had to disappear off the net for a while.. she was super crazy.. don't know what causes people to be like that..

[nanila]

Whoa, twice? That's unfortunate. I'm glad that no physical harm came to you from either event. Also that they didn't deter you from returning to the net.

[trendyprof]

Still has me wary though..