16/52: filipina, german, english, irish

[nanila]

I love being mixed race. I like having a genetic as well as experiential link to cultures in different parts of the globe. I wish that the only difference it made to anyone else was to inspire benign curiosity. I wish that it didn’t create assumptions about my intelligence or my abilities...or my immigration status.

I’m still learning to like the way I look. It doesn’t fit traditional, monoethnic standards of Asian or white beauty and it never will. I don’t have perfect almond-shaped eyes or cheekbones that can cut glass. I didn’t inherit the delicate Asian thinness of my father or the long-necked European elegance of my mother. I have long thin hands and feet. The rest of me is quite muscular. My face is topped by a cloud of dark-brown hair that grows greyer daily. My face is also balanced exactly halfway between my parents. Freckles from my mother. Lips from my father. Eyelashes from my mother. Eyes from my father. Nose that appears to have been forged from a blend of my mother’s little pointy number and my father’s flat wide schnozz. Every time I think I’ve got it all figured out, I age a bit more and it changes on me. And forget trying to find makeup that matches my skin tone. Two weeks in the sun and I turn a completely different colour.

I babble. This image was inspired by all the wonderful portraits in Part Asian, 100% Hapa by Kip Fulbeck. The lovely anthrokeight sent me the book as a present. When I opened it, I cried. Every time I re-read it, I cry. I don’t fully understand why it affects me deeply to see photos of other mixed-race people other than it makes me feel that I’m not alone.

Comments

[becala]

Even looking at sample pages of that book made me teary.

The last time my identity was unwittingly made a point of pain for me was < 1 week ago. Someone took a look at the picture of us together in France and said, "She looks more Asian than you."

Oh, I guess I have less of a claim to that part of my heritage then. Thanks.

[nanila]

I love the sample image where she's written, "'What am I?' Shouldn't you be asking my name first?"

I didn't realize we were in a competition to see which of us could appear more Asian. Thanks to that person for pointing it out. I will totally be upping the stakes when we meet in France by wearing a barong tagalog the whole time.

[alwayswondered]

Aww, the little Chinese and Danish boy: "I don't usually tell people I'm Danish though because they think I'm a pastry."

[nanila]

Ten quid says that in five years when he has to make up an internet handle for himself, he chooses a pastry. :D

[vi]

Thank you for sharing this. <3

[nanila]

Thank you for reading it. I hope you enjoyed Kip Fulbeck's portraits, too.

[vi]

I did enjoy them! Some of them made me laugh (the boy who doesn't tell people he's Danish, and the person who drew a table of things they are/aren't) and others made me teary. All of them were fierce. I may have to get this book.

[telegramsam]

A two-sentence story for you: There was a girl I went to high school who resembles you quite strongly. She's... Welsh. :D

Your hair is enviable, by the way.

[nanila]

Icon love! (Mr Flibble's very cross. Although not because there's someone out there who looks like me. That's all right.)

As for my hair, there's a lot of it. I hated it when I was a teenager, but now I embrace its ginormous foofiness.

[telegramsam]

My hair is almost that thick, but with more curl to it (and auburn). Some days I love it, other days I HATE it. Usually depends on the humidity. And probably the tides, and the zodiac and the fact that it has a mind of its own. I've learned not to fight it though. THE HAIR IS GONNA DO WHATEVER THE HAIR IS GONNA DO. One of life's lessons. :P