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Oh yes, my new favourite unabashedly liberal satirical news show is on the BBC again. I’m not exaggerating when I say that this is the only way I can cope with watching video footage of the sitting American president. Or watch commentary on the current status of Brexit negotiations.
Top moments so far:
AND FINALLY, and outside the cut because I really want everyone to watch this, from Episode One, Catherine Bohart: “As an immigrant in Britain*, sometimes it’s not enough to merely contribute to the economy or prop up the NHS. It’s also your job to make British people feel more comfortable with your existence. So, here’s my handy guide to Being the Kind of Immigrant British People Don’t Mind So Much.” (Seriously, y’all, watch the rest of her Handy Guide. I was crying with laughter. And also crying.)
* She’s Irish
Top moments so far:
- Nish Kumar: “I almost feel for [Theresa May], and then I remember the Windrush scandal, the go-home vans and the hostile environment which have made me and my family feel unwelcome in the country we call home, and I think oho, actually: [raspberry] [two-finger salute].” YUUUUUUP
- Ellie Taylor: “But first, chancellor Philip Hammond used Monday’s budget to confirm that the austerity era has officially ended. But cuts to council funding, police numbers, and social housing will continue. Schools, and care for the elderly will also continue to be chronically underfunded, prisons will be overcrowded, the NHS will struggle without enough doctors, nurses or ambulances. Libraries will either be closed or only open at specific points in the lunar cycle, homelessness will continue to be quite sad but easily ignored, and Britain’s housing supply will still be controlled by evil bastard property developers who think ‘affordable’ means ‘250 grand’, but thank fuck austerity is over.”
- Desiree Burch, talking about the American midterms: “We are the hen do from hell, and we do not care about your little quiet night out because we’re here because Claire is getting married, okay? I love you, you stupid bitch, I love you, oh my ga--I swear, if you take this drink outta my hand, I will karate-chop you in the dick.”
- Nish Kumar in a fake charity fundraising advert: “You’re probably thinking, ‘Well, can’t somebody in your own country do something about [20% of the population living in poverty]?’ Yes. Absolutely they can. But they don’t give a shit.”
- Ahir Shah: “Now, Nish, when my grandparents moved to this country, they were able to own property, largely because they drove down house prices in every neighbourhood they went to. [high-fives with Nish] But unfortunately, that trick just doesn’t work any more.”
- Ahir Shah: “Genuinely, online, I’ve had people tell me I want to impose Sharia law on the West, which, as the atheist son of Hindu parents, makes me feel ever so naughty.”
AND FINALLY, and outside the cut because I really want everyone to watch this, from Episode One, Catherine Bohart: “As an immigrant in Britain*, sometimes it’s not enough to merely contribute to the economy or prop up the NHS. It’s also your job to make British people feel more comfortable with your existence. So, here’s my handy guide to Being the Kind of Immigrant British People Don’t Mind So Much.” (Seriously, y’all, watch the rest of her Handy Guide. I was crying with laughter. And also crying.)
* She’s Irish
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But then, both parents subscribe to the irregular nouning of people who move countries. We were colonials or expats, you are a go-getter willing to travel, they are a burden on our economy
H
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I mean, my family came over in longships and probably had relatives who were fairly beastly towards the people that had arrived earlier and brought their fancy new religion with them.
But, it all depends on where you draw the line I suppose. It's sort of like that thing where your family might have moved into a village in your grandparents time, but the real locals still regard your lot as new-comers because your family name isn't mentioned in the Doomsday book.
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They might feel justified in considering themselves legitimate owners, but it's bullcrap.
The point is, everyone has a right to consider themselves British if they want to. We're a mixed bag, and British isn't a ethnic identity, it's a state of mind. We're not one race, creed or even really one Nation... but dammit, we ARE British.
It's a question of if they want to, and if they do, then damn anyone who says different, no matter when their ancestors came over. I mean, there's enough people who are still complaining about the bloody Norman thatch-gallows... and no-one pays them any heed.. so why should we let the likes of Nigel Farage [who's ancestors were a bunch of Norman-hired Flandish mercenaries.] dictate who is, and who isn't British?!
For pete's sake.. thanks to the British rule of India, there are people who've never even left India, who's families have lived there forever, and who are probably more British than a lot of the prats who live here!
Being British isn't about ancestry, it's about being willing to be British.. part of which is the willingness to make room for all sorts of new ideas and cultures ... and the idea that we CAN all bloody well get along, and that fundamentally, people are the same no matter where they are from originally.
That said.. the other part of British cultural identity, is being willing to muck in and and help out each other. The Blitz mentality existed long before the blitz really... which if you take it to it's logical conclusion, also means helping those that have newly arrived, adapt to their new surroundings [as much as needed, without loosing their uniqueness.] But blending isn't the same as wholesale adoption of some hypothetical british culture... it's about adding too, and taking from, what's already here, creating a meeting point if you like.
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