Day 18/365: And the race-consciousness began

[nanila]

Humuhumu is developing a habit of whispering a burning question to me just as I'm tucking her into bed at night. Up until tonight, these have mostly been in the category "Let's test if Mummy knows this thing I learnt in school today". For instance,

H: "Mummy, do you think the moon is light?"
Me: "You mean, do I think the moon is made of light?"
H: *nods*
Me: "No, I think the moon is mostly made of rock."
H: "Very good, Mummy! That's right."

Tonight was a little different. We had just finished reading Cinnamon by Neil Gaiman and Divya Srinivasan, which she received as a Christmas present from the aforementioned Auntie Kate, and which features an Indian girl and a tiger. It specifically mentions Cinnamon's soft brown skin. When I was reading those descriptions, Humuhumu wove her fingers into mine, and was looking at our skin.

I leaned over to take off her glasses and put them on her purple owl glasses holder. She slung an arm round my neck and whispered to me.

H: "Mummy, are we white people?"
Me: "...No, honey, not entirely."
H: "What do you mean?"
Me: "I mean you are part white and part Filipino."
H: "What's Filipino?"
Me: "The broader term is Asian. Where Grandpa is from."
H: "Oh. Will I be a white person when I grow up?"
Me: "No, you will always be part Asian, because Mummy is, and Grandpa is. You will always be a bit brown."
H: "Oh."
*pause*
H: "Mummy, can you tuck me in now? I'm ready to sleep."
Me: "Okay."

Comments

[miss_s_b]

*hug*

[nanila]

Thanks. *hugs back* *wibbles a bit*

[miss_s_b]

Being a mum is like having a cheesegrater applied to your soul sometimes, it's so completely emotionally complex and discombobulating.

[recessional]

<3

[nanila]

Thank you. ♥

[redsixwing]

*offers hugs*

[nanila]

*gratefully accepts hugs*

[kotturinn]

Offers tea and biscuits.
Wonders if something stronger might be more suitable.

[nanila]

Tea and biscuits probably best when this wobbly. Maybe even...tea with sugar in.
Thanks.

[pbristow]

[HUGS]

Well done on getting the right answer to question one. =;o} (I'd have probably said something silly like "well, it's lighter than the Earth...")

I'm not qualified to judge whether you gave the "right" answer to question two, but I suspect you probably did.

And I think thinking about big important questions just before settling down to sleep is a very good habit to get into. Except maybe when the answers are scary, b'cos nightmares are no fun (but sometimes useful!). In fact, it's one I should probably get back into myself, instead of playing "Sherlock" on the 'phone until my eyelids droop. =:o\

[nanila]

Tonight I got asked if I knew how many years were in a century. I pretended I didn't know. "One hundred!" I was told, with wide-eyed awe.

[pbristow]

Well, to be fair, it's not as simple a question as it sounds. I mean, how many legs does a centipede have?

(If you say "a hundred", I'll have to buzz you! =;o} )

[wordweaverlynn]

May she become adult in a world where it's safe to be brown.

[nanila]

Amen to this. Thanks.

[pbristow]

Amen, absolutely, pass the peanuts and let my stamp my mark on it. [NODS}

[st_aurafina]

Oh, man. *hugs you* I'm glad she has you. And Cinnamon.

[nanila]

*hugs back* Thank you. Cinnamon was our last story again tonight. :)

[worlds_of_smoke]

-offers hugs-

[nanila]

*hugs gratefully accepted*

[weaverbird]

{{{hugs}}}

[nanila]

*hugs back* Thank you.

[mysterysquid]

Well. That's a thing. :/

Super cure glasses holder, by the way.

[nanila]

It was, indeed, a very wibble-making thing.

The glasses holder is brilliant! It's her second one. We accidentally left the first one, which was blue, in a holiday flat. I hope whoever found it gave it a good home.

[silveradept]

I foresee this as the first of many, and I can only hope that you get to answer the questions, instead of someone else doing so.

[nanila]

Thank you. I hope she continues to trust me with answering her questions.

[gwendraith]

Bless her. Being a mum our hearts sometimes feel like they are being squeezed. My boys are 41 and 36 and I still get that feeling if I think there is something that might hurt them. We try to have the right answers to difficult questions when they are small. *Hugs*

[nanila]

Yes, exactly this. And not knowing if you've said exactly the right things or if you should have said more is also difficult to deal with. *hugs back* Thank you.

[sfred]

<3

[nanila]

♥ Thank you.

[antisoppist]

Your daughter will always know she can trust you to give her honest answers even to difficult questions and that you're on her side. She's really lucky.

[nanila]

I hope so. I hope it continues to be so, too. Thanks.

[chickenfeet]

Kids ask the darndest questions. I remember walking down the aptly named Church Street in Toronto when he was maybe seven. He asked me why there were so many different kinds of church!

[nanila]

Now that must have been a fun one to deal with. So many possible answers, flippant and serious!

[chickenfeet]

Being me I answered quite seriously and with as much context as I thought a seven year old could deal with. Twenty years later said son married a minister's daughter and they had very interesting conversations about the text of the marriage service to be used.

[cmcmck]

Ah me! The complexities of ethnicity.

I know that one even though I supposedly count as sort of white for the purposes of the act.

I'm proud of my mix though as I know she will be of hers. :o)

[nanila]

I hope so. :) Thanks.

[liseuse]

I love kid questions! My dad was a pro at lying so convincingly I thought it was a truth for years longer than I should. So grass was green because gnomes painted it, and if it rained they re-painted it, and in autumn they had special overtime to paint it varying shades of brown.

Because I have a sort-of-cousin (I can't be bothered to work out what sort of cousin she actually is) who married a Turkish Muslim and converted from Catholicism, I once asked my mother if you stopped being Catholic at a certain age and became Muslim. I was kind of disappointed when she said no because my sort-of-cousin always seemed happier than my Catholic sort-of-cousins.

[nanila]

I could never lie as convincingly (or creatively!) as that. That's rather fantastic.

...I once asked my mother if you stopped being Catholic at a certain age and became Muslim.

Ha! I remember once asking my dad why he didn't just go to the bank when he said he didn't have enough money, because my one experience of banks was that you went there to get money. I thought they just gave it to you when you asked.

[liseuse]

He's got this amazing dry delivery FOR EVERYTHING so there is no way whatsoever to tell when he's pulling your leg and when he's being serious. I struggle with it as an adult, as an amazingly literal child I was never going to manage.

That seems very logical to me!

[ironed_orchid]

Aww.

[nanila]

She has so much faith in my ability to answer her questions. Eep.

[tree_and_leaf]

*hugs*

[nanila]

*hugs back* Thank you.

[soliano]

Sad to have to have such a conversation, but marvelous to have that rich family history.

[nanila]

I don't think she attaches any negative connotations to being brown (yet), so it's interesting that she thought she would become white when she grew up.

[soliano]

As long as she does not turn orange. :)

[calissa]

Oh, my heart.

[nanila]

Yes, indeed. Mine too. <3