That's really good of you to say! Usually this is the point, when I've had this conversation with people, where they're likely to get defensive: "Yeah, but that's different, because my one is what I'm used to and yours is weird and I don't get it because I'm not used to it!" And, as I said, this is when the anti-American sentiments come out, as if I'm personally responsible for and in agreement with everything America's ever done (or that they think America has done, due to their extensive knowledge of Friends and a holiday they went on to Disneyworld). This is one time I most resent my willingness/compulsion to be conciliatory, because I'll say "yeah we all have crazy traditions and fucked up things in our culture's histories..." only to be met more often than not with "See, even you know you're wrong!" taking my attempt at bridging a shared experience as a concession, and not budging an inch themselves.
And you're totally right, we would all benefit from considering the unintended or hidden drawbacks and bigotries of our cultural assumptions and habits. I've become so aware of this since I emigrated that it's sometimes exhausting to think about, and I think I'm a lot better at being sensitive to these things (too sensitive, some of my friends would say!) than I was when I was growing up in a rural white Midwestern monoculture, but I still have to work at being mindful of this, too.
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Date: 2014-11-12 09:30 am (UTC)And you're totally right, we would all benefit from considering the unintended or hidden drawbacks and bigotries of our cultural assumptions and habits. I've become so aware of this since I emigrated that it's sometimes exhausting to think about, and I think I'm a lot better at being sensitive to these things (too sensitive, some of my friends would say!) than I was when I was growing up in a rural white Midwestern monoculture, but I still have to work at being mindful of this, too.