nanila | Conversations with my father

[phone rings in my hotel room]
Me: “Hello?”
Concierge, sounding very uncertain and slightly bemused: “Um, hello, is that Nanila, who just checked in with us today?”
Me: “Yes, that’s correct.”
Concierge: “Um…I have a gentleman on the line who would like to speak to you. I…I think he’s your father? I’m so sorry, I’m really not sure.”
Me, chuckling: “That sounds like him. Did he say his name was [Firstname Lastname]?”
Concierge: “I couldn’t understand him when he said his name. I think it’s my phone line.”
Me, drily: “Please don’t be sorry. That will be one of two things: his accent, or he hasn’t got his teeth in.”
Concierge, now relaxing a bit and giggling: “Would you like me to put him through?”
Me: “Please do, thank you.”

*pause*

Me: “Hi Dad, how are you doing?”
Dad: “I tried to call you but I kept getting the prison! Where are you? Are you in XX hotel?!”
Me, patiently: “Yes, Dad, I’m in the hotel.”
Dad: “What room are you in? I need to write it down. Are you sure? Are you okay?”
Me: “Dad. I’m in Room NN. I am fine. And if this is the prison then it’s had a tremendous facilities upgrade.”
Dad: “Oh, okay. Was the traffic awful? Are you very tired? When do you want to meet for dinner? Should we go to the sushi place? Do you remember the sushi place? I need to put my teeth in!”
Me: “Yes, yes, whenever you want to eat, yes, yes, and yes, you do.”

For anyone who has met me in person and has thought to themselves, “This woman has no idea how to hold a conversation like a normal human being,” this is 100% where I got it from. Thanks, Dad.