Vampire maths

[nanila]

Humuhumu is going through a phase where she asks me whether or not things are real. I have thus far resisted the urge to reply with opaque philosophical responses, or "Yes, everything that happens in your mind is real; it's all real; THE HORROR". Ahem. For instance, over breakfast, she will ask, are the Octonauts real? No, I regretfully reply, but all the creatures they meet in the ocean are real. Let's watch Blue Planet II. And then she and Keiki are delighted when they recognise a good proportion of the animals. Orca! Humpback whale! Bottlenose dolphin! Mantis shrimp! Vampire squid!

Speaking of vampire squid, one of her current favourite books is Hugo Makes a Change, which we bought at the Ikon Gallery bookshop in Birmingham a few weeks ago. Hugo is a meat-loving vampire who discovers that vegetables are delicious. If you thought the fluff-ification of pirates for children was bad, you have clearly not been keeping up with the trends on vampires. One of her other literary favourites is Amelia Fang and the Barbaric Ball, of which we've been reading a chapter a night. Amelia has a pet pumpkin called Squashy and her favourite food is falafel.

Anyway, last night when the children were having their bath, Humuhumu asked, "Are vampires real?" No, I replied, they're not. "Oh," she said. "Mummy, why aren't they real?"

So I said, "Well, the typical vampire myth goes like this: A vampire only drinks blood. Vampires get hungry every night, and they have to bite someone and drink their blood. Then the person they've bitten turns into a vampire. This is a problem."

Humuhumu: "Why is it a problem?"

Me: "Think of it like this: You start with one vampire. That vampire has its dinner, and then there are two vampires. The next day, those vampires have their dinner, and now there are four vampires. Next day: eight vampires. Then sixteen vampires. Then thirty-two vampires. Then sixty-four vampires. Then one hundred and twenty-eight vampires--"

At this point the children have gotten very excited and are chanting "vampires" along with me every time I say "vampires". I get all the way to four thousand and ninety-six vampires and I try to stop. "MORE", they demand.

In the end, I have to go all the way to a million and forty-eight thousand vampires (I started rounding, so sue me) before I'm allowed to stop.

"So you see," I conclude exhaustedly, "in a little over a month, everyone in the world is a vampire, and that doesn't work, does it. You're not a vampire."

"No," she agreed regretfully. "But I can pretend!"

Yes, yes she can.

Baby vampire bite bite bite

Comments

[alatefeline]

DAWWWWW. What a great story.

[worlds_of_smoke]

that is fucking adorable.

[silveradept]

That's an excellent way of using the maths, and also, the vampire chant sounds life what I would be aiming for in a story time.

If Humuhumu gets curious about the maths behind these kinds of problems, or wants to see Fibanocci's Rabbits in picture book form, Rabbit Problem, by Emily Gravett does the job, although possibly a bit subtly on the maths side.

[ankaret]

I want to see Future Humuhumu meeting someone who tries to sell her on a pyramid scheme.

[bryangb]

LOL! Hurrah for stuff like Octonauts that also engages them with the real world.

[recessional]

...has she seen the Hotel Transylvania movies?

[davidgillon]

Excellent STEM parenting!

[siliconshaman]

I suppose pointing out it's a little bit more complicated than that probably wouldn't be a good idea. But way to go you for introducing her to the maths behind population growth.

Still... adorable...and wait until she discovers that there are things like vampires.

[caulkhead]

I get all the way to four thousand and ninety-six vampires and I try to stop. "MORE", they demand.

I was giggling helplessly by this point. Also, I wish I could draw so that i could illustrate it. (Though I do feel obliged to point out that vegetarian vampires were a Thing thirty years ago and more. I remember Count Duckula fondly).

[tree_and_leaf]

Willis Hall's Last Vampire was a fun book about a vegetarian vampire, too (he turned into a fruit bat, if memory serves).

[hilarita]

I do love your approach to showing vampires aren't real :)

[kaberett]

ADSLFKSJFLSKJFD <333

[kotturinn]

Made my day!

[lurkingcat]

*still giggling*

A+ parenting and A+ blogging!

[trascendenza]

Vampire maths ftw! I admire your perseverance for making it that high on the count, I would have definitely tapped out long before, heh.

[omnipotent]

That is super cute, although sorry you had to turn into a human calculator to get your point across! It was sweet of you to keep going to indulge the kiddies.

Humuhumu is adorable with her fangs.

[major_clanger]

Adorable story of the week!

In a more just world someone would be paying you £lots to write THE LADYBIRD BOOK OF POPULATION DYNAMICS and THE HORRIBLE HISTORY OF EPIDEMIOLOGY.

[mysterysquid]

Aww! :D

[glittertigger]

Excellent story!

[adrian_turtle]

Vampire, vampire, drinking all your neighbors' blood
You and your arithmetic, will probably go far.
Vampire, vampire, drinking all your neighbors' blood
Don't you ever stop and think how few neighbors there are?

One and one are two
Two and two are four
Four and four are eight
Eight and eight are sixteen
Sixteen and sixteen are thirty-two...

Vampire, vampire...

[telegramsam]

they just all need to be black-ribboners!

NOT ONE DROP

[ironed_orchid]

Yay maths!

The good thing about being able to distinguish between real and made up is that you can still pretend.

[novel_machinist]

Ahhh yes, the counting games. XD so cute

[nanila]

<3 Thank you!

[nanila]

I thought so too, which is what kept me going all the way over a million vampires!