Fridays' Unscientific Poll: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

[nanila]

Before Christmas, the bloke & I were amused to discover that the alternate Batman-based lyrics to "Jingle Bells" apparently percolate into the consciousness of children at a very early age.

Since Christmas, we've been amused because Humuhumu will randomly sing them whenever the fancy strikes her, no matter if Christmas is still 10 months away. (As were the elderly couple who were exiting Powis Castle at the same time as us last weekend. They applauded her, which caused her to be overcome with shyness and hide behind Daddy's legs.)

I found it intriguing that the lyrics differ from the ones I sang as a child in the US and are specifically British-English because of the use of the word "motorway". Now I'm wondering if there are other regional variations!

Poll #17326 Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 47

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As a child, I mostly sang these alternate Batman-based lyrics to the Christmas carol "Jingle Bells".

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Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg/Batmobile lost a wheel and Joker got away
20 (52.6%)

Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin flew away/Santa Claus lost his claws on the motorway
4 (10.5%)

Something else which I shall write in the text box
14 (36.8%)

I sang these alternate Batman-based lyrics instead:

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Comments

[cmcmck]

Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin's run away.
The Batmobile has lost its wheels
And can't come out today..........

[nanila]

That would segue nicely into "The Sun has got his hat on". Humuhumu does love a mashup.

[kaberett]

... both

[nanila]

:D

I am currently loving how alternate UK versions all feature different motorways, presumably the ones that were nearest/most hated by parents.

[kaberett]

Aha no I have just remembered the most common one in my particular playground. Enjoy. :-p

[rmc28]

That's what jumped out at me too :-)

[major_clanger]

Surprisingly I don't remember hearing that one when I was small. However, we did have the alternate version of While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night:

While shepherds washed their socks by night
All watching ITV
The Angel of the Lord came down
And switched to BBC

[kotturinn]

You are younger than me :-)

While shepherds washed their socks by night
All seated round the tub
The Angel of the Lord came down
And they began to scrub.

[caulkhead]

'A bar of Sunshine soap came down...'

[ankaret]

While shepherds cooked their peas by night
All seated round the pot
The Angel of the Lord came down
And scoffed the blooming lot.

[nanila]

I hereby nominate this thread for the Best Derailing of an Unscientific Poll Topic award.

[antisoppist]

We three kings of orient are
One in a taxi one in a car
One on a scooter bibbing his hooter
Following Ringo Starr.

[major_clanger]

The version I knew finished "He won't get very far"

There's probably a PhD, if not entire career, in tracing the evolution of these. After all, there's a Wikipedia page about the evolution of that popular wartime ditty Hitler Has Only Got One Ball.

[antisoppist]

The Opies' Lore and Language of Schoolchildren was very good. It had timelines and maps and everything. But I was getting it out of the library in the 1980s and don't know if anyone has updated it since.

[kotturinn]

Argh - of course. How could I forget. Senior moments.........

[kaberett]

... I definitely had a variant of this involving TV that wasn't this and I can't quite remember it.

[hilarita]

The version in my school had ITV and BBC switched round - clearly they were rebel angels ;)

[ironed_orchid]

Apparently our regional version has weird sexism and references to an airline that no longer exists:

Jingle Bells Batman smells,
Robin Ran away,
Wonder Woman lost her bosoms
flying T.A.A

ETA: I wonder what Aus kids sing these days, and whether it rhymes with Jetstar or Tiger Air

[nanila]

HOW DO YOU LOSE YOUR BOSOMS BY FLYING ON AN AEROPLANE*

There's now a version in the poll with a second verse that goes "Father Christmas lost his knickers on the motorway", which has me in conniptions.

*(unless there's some kind of insurance scam involving in-flight double mastectomies, which does not sound like a good plot for a superhero adventure AT ALL)

[ironed_orchid]

It is a mystery! I actually had to look up what she lost that rhymed with woman because I had repressed that part. But it has all come flooding back.

[lark_ascends]

I think that's the closest to what I remember! Wonder woman sounds about right.

[fred_mouse]

I was amused to look through other people's answers, and discover that you were the other person with my version!

ETA - have asked eldest who tells me that the version zie learnt was

Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg
The Batmobile lost its wheel, so the Joker got away.

disappointingly, no airlines at all. Will try and remember to ask the other kids when they wake up.

[ironed_orchid]

I have since learned that TAA turned into Qantas, so they sort of exist, but have a new name that doesn't rhyme. For some reason I'd assumed they turned into Ansett.

[fred_mouse]

I had remembered the change to Australian Airlines in the 80s, but had completely forgotten what had happened to them after that!

[ankaret]

We three Kings of Leicester Square
Selling ladies' underwear
So fantastic, no elastic
Only eight pence a pair

[nanila]

I LOLLED YES I DID. :D

[ankaret]

That was taught to me by the boy I had a crush on between the ages of about eleven and sixteen, who had just got back from a kibbutz. Presumably he didn't learn it there but you never can tell.

[kaberett]

... I think I had a different price, but yes, this one.

[hilarita]

We Three Kings of Orients are
One in a taxi, one in a car
One on a scooter
Beeping his hooter
Following yonder star.

[davidgillon]

That rings a bell!

[ayebydan]

edit: i missed the robin part.

ours was
Jingle bells,
Batman smells, Robin flew away
while the Batmobile lost a wheel
on the m8 motorway.


The M8 is one of the busiest in Scotland. But M-whatever could be used.

[nanila]

I am learning a lot about unfamiliar motorways from this exercise. :)

[davidgillon]

None of those rang a bell, so I went googling, and found http://www.robweir.com/blog/2006/01/jingle-bells-batman-smells.html, with 400+ replies with versions sung. And part way down I found:
"In North East England in the 1980s the lyrics we used were:

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells,
Robin flew away
Lost his pants in the middle of France
And found them in Bombay – hey!"

I'd have heard it a decade earlier and the last two lines don't entirely ring a bell, but "Robin flew away"? Yeah, that.

[nanila]

I had a look at that blog post, and I gotta say I got stuck at:

Jingle bells, shotgun shells,
Santa Claus is dead,
Rudolf got a .22
and shot him in the head.

WTAF THAT'S A BIT TOO MORBID, PEOPLE

[davidgillon]

Kids these days! ;)

[pbristow]

There was a slight variant at our school with "Robin says he's gay". It remains unclear whether this was Robin coming out himself, or attempting to out Batman, but either way it rhymed better than "laid an egg"(!). Not a version I'd recommend resurrecting, however... =:o\

[nanila]

No, I think we can happily leave that one to the histories. :(

Very minor Canadian variation

[ed_rex]

Mid-1970s, Sudbury (northern) Ontario, Canada. We sang the first option, but with the before "Joker". Warn't just any Joker, is what I'm saying.

I'm a little bit surprised it crossed the Atlantic, though.