nanila: (Bush Fire Hazard)
Mad Scientess ([personal profile] nanila) wrote2015-10-20 03:10 pm

Every time breast/bottle feeding is debated on the internet, a domo-kun kills a kitten

With the subject line in view, I'm going to talk about a decision that has caused my internal guilt monitor to spike off the charts.

Since I started work again and Keiki began going to nursery two and a half months ago, the nursery staff have been attempting to bottle-feed him twice a day. It has been a mostly unsuccessful endeavour. He vigorously rejected bottles with teats. He relented toward sippy cups for a while, though he was still not enthusiastic about taking breast milk or formula from either. When I started overnighting once a week in London (my usual full-time routine) in September, he would occasionally drink 100 mL (3.5 ounces) on the second day I was away. But he seems to have figured out that I return on the evening of the second day, and he's quite happy to go on milk strike until the warm fleshy milk-production unit comes back.

He rejected his two daily nursery bottle feeds for two weeks in a row, so this week we chose to stop asking the nursery to give them to him. The reason for the guilt? He's ten months old, and according to The Literature, he's still supposed to be getting 500 mL of milk (breast or formula) a day until he's one. I estimate, from when I'm away and have to pump to keep the boobs from 'sploding, that he gets at most 100 mL per feed from me. Even with one feed in the morning, one at bedtime and one or two at night, that's still not 500 mL, and obviously he doesn't get anywhere near that when I'm away for a day and a half.

He eats all the solid food that's offered to him, and even some that's not. Yesterday he stole his sister's half-eaten cupcake. Last week, Keiki's key worker was highly amused when they set out biscuits for the babies to decorate with icing and chocolate buttons. They turned their backs for a few seconds. When they turned round again, four babies were sitting nicely with two undecorated biscuits apiece in front of them. One baby had half a biscuit clutched in his hand and a lot of crumbs around his mouth. (You get one guess which baby that was.) This was right after lunch. So I don't think there's anything wrong with his appetite, and he certainly seems to be getting enough to eat. I really shouldn't be worried, but what with all the unconsciously absorbed socially imposed guilt surrounding being a working mother and being away from my little ones and that annoying mystically calculated 500 mL amount that we're not achieving, I have to expend a considerable amount of emotional energy talking myself into remaining calm.

He's fine. He's fine! He's a happy, healthy baby. He just prefers boob or food to anything that comes out of a bottle. I should stop stressing, y/y?
cmcmck: (Default)

[personal profile] cmcmck 2015-10-20 02:51 pm (UTC)(link)
But it is surely not possible to assume that all these little individuals are exactly the same?

I have a huge dislike of one size fits all policies!

As you say, he's a happy, healthy baby.........
cmcmck: (Default)

[personal profile] cmcmck 2015-10-20 02:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Hugs!
perennialanna: Plum Blossom (Default)

[personal profile] perennialanna 2015-10-20 03:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Is he old enough for vitamin drops? Actually, he must be, I'm fairly sure breastfed babies who don't get any formula are meant to have vitamin drops from six months (it's entirely possible that advice has changed in the three years since I had a six month old baby. Who was fairly soon to go on a five month long nursing strike in daylight hours, before returning gleefully to the boob at 14 months old. Babies are weird). Multivitamins are a great soother of the maternal mind, whatever they do or don't do for the child.
highlyeccentric: Sign on Little Queen St - One Way both directions (Default)

[personal profile] highlyeccentric 2015-10-20 05:20 pm (UTC)(link)
I second this recommendation! Little bro's doctor had some trouble convincing my mother into providing him with vitamins. In his teens - he was ill, had super weird eating habits that turned out to be pre-eating-disorder, and clearly wasn't obtaining sufficient nutrition from his regular diet. Mum took this as a sign of her FAILURE TO NOURISH etc. No idea if they did him much good in the long run, but I think they bought all parties six months or so de-stressing on the 'what is the child going to eat today???' front.
perennialanna: Plum Blossom (Default)

[personal profile] perennialanna 2015-10-20 06:08 pm (UTC)(link)
My mother was a nurse before having children, and she was very keen on multivitamins when we were having various eating dramas. Parental calmness is fairly key to getting things back on track, and it's an awful lot easier when you know they're getting their basic needs (I've had my own dramas over the summer, with a three year old who reacted badly to his father walking out one dinner time and took months to be reconciled to eating a range of food at the table rather than toast on the sofa. Giving him vitamins got me through it).
yvi: Kaylee half-smiling, looking very pretty (Default)

[personal profile] yvi 2015-10-20 03:48 pm (UTC)(link)
And 200 mg of caffeine is supposed to be the maximum that is safe during pregnancy - only there's no study in the world saying that. I think they sometimes just pull these numbers from thin air.
pbristow: Paul looks straight into camera, chin in hand, eyebrow raised. He is shaggy haired, boss-eyed, & his glasses are askew. (_Boss-eyed)

[personal profile] pbristow 2015-10-20 06:36 pm (UTC)(link)
How very dare you! The thickness of the air from which they pull their numbers has been certified to be *well* over the recommended minimum...

=;o}