I'm sure we could get one of those traps. The thing is, I'm fairly certain that we'd simply repeatedly catch Telstar. Maybe a badger? But I think probably Telstar, because I doubt we'd be able to put it anywhere except our back garden. (I don't think the allotmenteers would take kindly to it.)

We'll keep walking around and shouting for him. Our signs are up and our neighbours are on alert. I think that's about all we can do.