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Nothing horrifies me quite like failure. It's part of the reason I went into science. It was challenging intellectually, yes, but to be perfectly honest, it was also pretty simple to earn credentials - degrees, papers, recommendations, the respect and admiration of family and friends. Academia sure does give a person a false sense of self-importance. Your advisers shuffle you from undergrad to grad school to postdoc and you don't have to worry much about staying employed. PIs in experimental science always need lab grunts.
In science, you must share your output with other people and subject it to their scrutiny. However, their judgment is not aesthetic; in experimental science, it's hardly subjective at all. You have four or five people who make similar measurements using similar techniques deciding whether or not they think your results are consistent with current theory. Usually, they approve. Usually, they care little for the presentation unless it's completely incomprehensible. And voila, you're published. It really is frightfully easy to be successful in experimental science, in my opinion, without ever risking your ego. Stick to known techniques, perhaps combine them in a slightly different way, and you'll produce a mountain of new and important results. Maybe they won't be revolutionary, but they will be valuable.
Maybe this is my viewpoint simply because I never aspired to be a world-class experimental chemical physicist. Figuring out why would probably be another post on fear of failure all to itself.
With writing, drawing or photography, the only way to be successful is to share your work and subject it to other people's aesthetic judgment. No one is going to take time out of their day to look at what you've made unless you convince them it's worthwhile. You have to believe in your work, and if it's to be any good, it represents a total investment of your ego. It requires both emotional and intellectual conviction. The only field in science that demands so much of an individual is theoretical physics.
I'm afraid to make an exclusive commitment to creative work. There's an uncomfortably real risk of failure, of years and years of abortive attempts and of living in obscurity and poverty. It's even more difficult when I have such an accessible escape route. I can move back to California. I have a place to live. I have a huge network of colleagues and friends. I could settle, probably not happily, but contentedly, into a research career.
I feel as though I have to decide whether a blinking blue light in the darkness is a lantern fish's lure or just a bunch of bioluminescent bacteria. But in reality, it's likely that neither of these options is as irrevocable or dire as I think it is right now.
In science, you must share your output with other people and subject it to their scrutiny. However, their judgment is not aesthetic; in experimental science, it's hardly subjective at all. You have four or five people who make similar measurements using similar techniques deciding whether or not they think your results are consistent with current theory. Usually, they approve. Usually, they care little for the presentation unless it's completely incomprehensible. And voila, you're published. It really is frightfully easy to be successful in experimental science, in my opinion, without ever risking your ego. Stick to known techniques, perhaps combine them in a slightly different way, and you'll produce a mountain of new and important results. Maybe they won't be revolutionary, but they will be valuable.
Maybe this is my viewpoint simply because I never aspired to be a world-class experimental chemical physicist. Figuring out why would probably be another post on fear of failure all to itself.
With writing, drawing or photography, the only way to be successful is to share your work and subject it to other people's aesthetic judgment. No one is going to take time out of their day to look at what you've made unless you convince them it's worthwhile. You have to believe in your work, and if it's to be any good, it represents a total investment of your ego. It requires both emotional and intellectual conviction. The only field in science that demands so much of an individual is theoretical physics.
I'm afraid to make an exclusive commitment to creative work. There's an uncomfortably real risk of failure, of years and years of abortive attempts and of living in obscurity and poverty. It's even more difficult when I have such an accessible escape route. I can move back to California. I have a place to live. I have a huge network of colleagues and friends. I could settle, probably not happily, but contentedly, into a research career.
I feel as though I have to decide whether a blinking blue light in the darkness is a lantern fish's lure or just a bunch of bioluminescent bacteria. But in reality, it's likely that neither of these options is as irrevocable or dire as I think it is right now.
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Oh yeah, it was a lucky break amidst bankruptcies.
The thing is, he pays little mind to consequences, does what he feels like doing, and happens to get lucky.
The PEOPLE on the Apprentice are similar in their level of ass-clowniness. It's like watching a moron herding idiots and criticizing everything they do.
Intelligent people have a little more trouble taking risks, on account of they actually consider what they're doing, the consequences of actions, and the viability of a given endeavor. Intelligent people think. A lot. Which is usually good, but can be crippling.
You have a quick and agile mind. You seem to adapt to new situations with little trouble. You display a great deal of creativity.
Take a lesson from the ass-clowns. Go ahead and let yourself do something without worrying whether or not it's a mistake. You'll land on your feet regardless.
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A trump koan
late 80's, Trump is going somewhere in the back of a limo, depressed. He's over $200 million in debt, in a lot of trouble, no idea what to do next.
The limo stops at a red light. Trump looks out and sees a bum there, begging for money. Someone drops a dollar bill into the bum's can. Trump things: "that guy's worth $200,000,001 more than me right now, and look at him, and then look at me." He grumps about that a second, then pauses and reflects on that.
At that moment, Trump attains enlightenment.
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Anyway, glad it helped. Kick some ass and take some names.
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why can't you be frightfully successful in experimental science
and, a frightfully successful artist
too?
and, frightfully add me back to your friend list
here is incentive
it's a picture of my new semi-transparent tool box
that's right!
I'm re-tooling!
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and, a frightfully successful artist
too?
Because she dislikes the taste of methamphetamine?
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well, jesus christ
I have to say I don’t get it
I googgled Methamphetamine
Methamphetamine, a derivative of amphetamine, is a powerful stimulant that affects the central nervous system.
http://www.whitehousedrugpolicy.gov/publ
So what? Not everybody needs drugs to explode with creative energy
So, I have to say I have no prepared response to you comment
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Far more important is the fact that a British quiz show informed me that the lantern on an angler fish is in fact designed to attract a mate rather than prey, and the smaller and less-impressive male fish is then absorbed into the female's body, leaving only his reproductive organs behind.
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What he said...
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You can't let that stop you, or the world would have no artists. So I think you are correct - the choice is how much to risk, how long to risk it for - and to acknowledge that these choices introduce the risk of never quite giving it enough and always wondering whether you should have invested more.
I believe that's a better place to be than to wonder whether you should ever have tried at all.
Your dilemma strikes a chord over here, as it is something I struggle with too. The difference is that I do not have a successful career in a field that I value, so in that respect I have less to lose. In spite of this, I'm still failing to make a decision because of The Fear.
The Fear's shadow-twin is the fear that I will always fail to make a decision, and always give in to my lack of self-confidence. That I will end up a crooked old lady with crabbed hands and a big stick (because I fully intend to have a stick to wave about when I'm feeling crotchety :) who whinges on about how she could have done something once. Only she never got round to it. If you see me doing this one of these years, gas me.
Meh.
I'm trying to say "try", but I don't think you want/need this encouragement. You need to find it in yourself. I can lend you a torch if you need to go looking in dark places, but I think the battery is on the blink.
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If you give up part of yourself for safety, if you learn to accept unhappiness, you'll find yourself changing in miserably bitter ways. You can't sell off part of your heart and remain whole. Sure, there will be failure, but you're the only person who holds the ridiculously high expectation that you won't fail occasionally. Creative people, with the exception it seems of George Lucas, learn from failure and set-backs.
Poverty sucks, but so does living without feeling there's a purpose to your life. Or that you missed the greater purpose. And the joy of having been successful at your previous career is you have awards, articles, and flashy thingies to put in the face of anyone who gives you crap about "the real world".
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Maybe I should work on a prima donna alter ego for social gatherings where I get interrogated about what I do. One that wears silver lamé and insists that everyone address her as Doctor, lest she bash them over the head with a framed copy of one of her diplomas.
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and nothing motivates like fear, use it and do what makes you happy.
Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.
— Sydney J. Harris
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Yes, I love The Deep Sea episode.
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He won't though, cos he's an ideas man.
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I'm in an odd place because we've just had a really good workshop of a piece I've been working on for over a year now. It's better than when it started but still so far from complete.
I think the important thing is that you don't follow one path because you're afraid of failing at the other. Just risk it. You're young, you have your health, you can fix almost anything before it gets too late.
I believe in you, whatever you decide to do. ::hugs::
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Thank you. *hugs back*
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Forward Looking Back
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All I want to say to this is: Yes.
Actually, never mind going out for drinks, let's make a pitcher of mojito.
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In the end, I am giving the exclusive commitment a shot for a few months. I'm still looking for work, although since I have the luxury of time, I'm being very picky about even applying for jobs, but the search is taking a back seat to making myself bang out a thousand words a day or so. Perestroika, comrade Limenal!